Are You Ready?: Summary Review
What if the legacy you leave behind matters far more than the things you accumulate? In Are You Ready? How to Build a Legacy to Die For by Kimberly Harms, you’re invited into a powerful journey of reflection and preparation—one that challenges you to build meaning now so your life’s imprint doesn’t fade when you’re gone.
What is the Book About?
In this book, Harms guides readers through a three-part exploration of life’s final chapter opportunities. The first part urges us to shift our focus from mere financial legacies toward the deeper, often overlooked legacies of love, trust, education, peace and service. It tells the stories of individuals who lived with intention and passed down values through generations, making us pause and ask what we want ours to look like.
The second and third parts lean into the realities that too many of us avoid—death, grief and the emotional ripple effects our absence leaves behind. Harms asks whether death must be feared or reframed, and then provides a practical workbook designed to help us prepare the people we love—emotionally as well as legally—for life without us. It is a push to not only think about our legacy but to act on it now.
Book Details
Print length: 300 pages
Language: English
Publication date: October 23, 2023
Genre: Self-help, Personal development, Grief & bereavement
Book Author
Kimberly Harms D.D.S., GC-C is a death doula, life coach, civil mediator legacy Builder, and certified grief counselor. Dr. Kimberly Harms has been around the block in life — several times. She has served as a Commissioned Officer in the United States Public Health Service, a dental school professor, a clinical dentist with her late husband Jim in Farmington MN, a school board Chair, President of an international women’s organization, Vice Chair of the Union Gospel Mission Board, the first woman President of the Minnesota Dental Association, and a National Spokesperson for the American Dental Association.
After 30 years in clinical practice, Dr. Harms lost her ability to practice dentistry due to nerve damage in her “drilling fingers”. This event forced a complete change of career direction. She recalibrated. Then became a grief counselor, a civil mediator, a death doula, a life coach, an award-winning, best-selling author, and international speaker on the topics of grief, conflict, and legacy planning.
Having also experienced devastating personal losses—including the suicides of both her beautiful mother and brilliant son, followed by the death of her beloved husband from a broken heart—Kim now devotes her life to walking alongside others in pain. She leads faith-based widow support groups and coaches Baby Boomers through the rocky terrain of life’s fourth quarter, guiding them toward healing, hope, meaning, and purpose. Her passion is helping others overcome heartache, change, and build a life worth living—a life of laughter, legacy, and love.
Dr. Harms honors the life of her book-loving son, Eric, who dreamed of becoming a lawyer, by co-founding 65 Eric Harms Memorial Libraries through Books for Africa, spreading knowledge and hope across Rwanda. These libraries—found in primary schools, secondary schools, churches, universities, national institutions, medical and dental schools, and even four complete new law libraries—stand as a testament to Eric’s passion for learning and love for the rule of law. In the process, she formed lifelong friendships and often says she has learned a great deal about resilience from her Rwandan friends, calling them “the best grief counselors in the world.”
Dr. Harms holds many titles, but the ones closest to her heart are “Mom” to her two remarkable daughters and “Nana” to her six precious, delightful grandchildren. Splitting her time between Kansas City and Minneapolis, she embraces every opportunity to savor the laughter, love, and unforgettable moments with all six of them— because, in the end, it’s family that defines her richest legacy.
Core Theme
At its core, this book argues that legacy is much more than money or material gifts—it is the story we write with our lives, the imprint we leave in hearts and relationships. Harms insists that each of us has the ability to craft a legacy of significance if we treat life as a classroom and our relationships as the curriculum. By shifting focus from “what will I leave” to “how will I live,” we begin prepping for a life-well-lived and a departure that supports those who remain.
A second major thread is the theme of readiness—not just in legal or financial terms, but emotionally and relationally. Harms frames death not as a failure or an enemy but as a final exam we all must face. By doing so, she opens the door to practical preparation: conversations with loved ones, legacy letters, organizing affairs, and intentionally passing on values. The workbook section of the book is the action component that turns those reflections into tasks, helping you move from contemplation to readiness.
Main Lessons
A few impactful summary lessons from Are You Ready: How to Build a Legacy to Die For
1. Live Intentionally and Design Your Legacy Now
Dr. Kimberly Harms reminds us that legacy is not something left behind after death—it’s something we build every day through our actions, words, and values. Living with intention means recognizing that every choice, from how we treat others to how we spend our time, contributes to the story we leave behind. Instead of drifting through life waiting for purpose to reveal itself, Harms encourages us to consciously craft it now. A meaningful legacy begins with self-awareness, courage, and a daily commitment to love, service, and growth that others can carry forward long after we are gone.
2. Transform Pain into Purpose and Healing
One of the most powerful themes of the book is how suffering can become a catalyst for legacy. Harms shares her personal journey of loss, from her mother’s mental illness to the tragic death of her son, and demonstrates how grief, when met with faith and purpose, can evolve into a force for good. By turning personal pain into service—like building memorial libraries in Rwanda—she shows that tragedy doesn’t have to define us; it can refine us. Every scar holds the potential to teach compassion and inspire others to overcome their own hardships, making healing itself an act of legacy-building.
3. Love Is the Greatest Legacy We Leave
While society often measures legacy through achievements or wealth, Harms argues that love remains the most enduring inheritance. The tenderness we share, the forgiveness we offer, and the grace we extend ripple through generations in ways no material gift ever could. Love binds families, heals divisions, and carries the essence of who we are into the hearts of those we leave behind. Even amid brokenness or loss, expressing unconditional love—through kind words, gratitude, and presence—becomes the most powerful way to ensure our lives continue to matter long after we’re gone.
4. Prepare for Death as a Celebration of Life
Instead of viewing death as a fearful ending, Harms reframes it as a continuation of one’s impact. She invites readers to prepare for it not with dread but with grace, humor, and practicality. Writing legacy letters, planning memorials, or even choosing the words on a tombstone are not morbid acts—they are expressions of mindfulness and love that bring peace to both the living and the dying. Harms’ “Death Prepper’s Workbook” exemplifies her belief that organizing our affairs is one final act of care, a way to ease the burden on loved ones and leave them with clarity and comfort rather than confusion.
5. Forgiveness Frees the Soul and Expands Legacy
Forgiveness emerges as one of the most liberating forces in Harms’ philosophy. She compares resentment to a caterpillar devouring its own leaves, suggesting that through forgiveness, one can transform into a butterfly—free, graceful, and light. By letting go of anger, whether toward others or ourselves, we reclaim emotional peace and open the door to joy. Harms illustrates this through stories of Rwandan genocide survivors who forgave their oppressors and rebuilt their communities, teaching that forgiveness is not weakness but the ultimate act of strength that multiplies love and unity across generations.
6. Small Acts Create Ripples of Immortality
Throughout the book, Harms emphasizes that legacy is found in the ordinary as much as in the extraordinary. Simple gestures—listening without judgment, mending a broken object, or offering a smile to a stranger—can echo longer than we realize. These moments, though small, reflect our character and values, leaving emotional imprints that shape others’ lives. Legacy, then, is not confined to grand accomplishments; it is sustained by countless small acts of kindness that collectively form a timeless imprint of who we are and what we stood for.
7. Embrace Spiritual Growth with Openness and Faith
While grounded in her Christian perspective, Harms encourages readers to approach spirituality with an open heart, seeing faith as a unifying rather than dividing force. She acknowledges that belief systems differ but insists that the search for meaning and connection transcends doctrine. Spiritual readiness, she teaches, is not about dogma—it’s about cultivating peace, gratitude, and acceptance of life’s impermanence. In doing so, we prepare not just for death but for a deeper, more joyful existence that enriches every relationship and every legacy we build.
8. Confront Mortality to Live More Fully
Harms’s candid reflections on mortality serve as a wake-up call to those who live as if time were infinite. By facing death head-on, we awaken to life’s preciousness and urgency. Contemplating our own end forces us to ask: What truly matters? Whom have we loved enough? What remains unfinished? Instead of avoiding these questions, Harms urges us to use them as motivation to live more vividly—to forgive faster, love louder, and contribute more boldly. Awareness of death, far from being depressing, can become the very fuel that animates a life of purpose and passion.
9. Authenticity Is the Foundation of Lasting Impact
Harms’s writing carries the conversational warmth of a trusted friend, yet beneath it lies a profound truth: a legacy built on pretense will crumble, but one rooted in authenticity endures. She encourages readers to embrace imperfection, share their stories honestly, and lead with vulnerability. True impact doesn’t arise from curated images or titles but from living in alignment with one’s values, even when life feels messy. When people remember us for our sincerity, courage, and integrity, we leave behind something far greater than reputation—we leave a reflection of truth that invites others to do the same.
10. Gratitude and Joy Sustain a Legacy of Light
The book closes with an uplifting call to live each day anchored in gratitude and joy. Harms believes that even in the midst of hardship, finding reasons to smile, laugh, and appreciate others is a sacred act of defiance against despair. Joy, she writes, is contagious—it uplifts families, heals relationships, and reminds us that life itself is a gift to be celebrated. By choosing gratitude over bitterness, we infuse our legacy with brightness and resilience, ensuring that the love and light we cultivate will continue to guide those who follow us long after we are gone.
Key Takeaways
Key summary takeaways from the book:
- Legacy is defined by the influence of your actions and relationships, not just your estate.
- Preparing for your end-of-life isn’t about fear—it’s about ensuring your loved ones feel emotionally secure when you’re gone.
- Having the documents (will, health care directives, password lists) is important, but so is creating an emotional life-insurance plan—letters, conversations, reconciliation.
- Facing mortality now empowers you to live more courageously and make decisions aligned with your values.
- It’s never too early to begin legacy work—waiting risks leaving chaos, hurt or regrets for those you care about.
Book Strengths
What this book does exceptionally well is blend heart and practicality: Harms does not shy away from the tough emotional terrain of death and grief, yet she also provides real tools and structured steps to engage with those themes. The workbook format offers templates and checklists that make the abstract idea of legacy concrete and accessible. Moreover, the author’s personal narrative and professional experience bring authenticity and empathy to the message, making the read feel less like a lecture and more like a trusted conversation.
Who This Book Is For
This book is ideal for anyone who wants to live with intention, especially those in mid-life or beyond who feel that legacy is a pressing issue. It resonates strongly with people who have experienced loss, who serve others, or who are stepping into roles where they need to think generationally—parents, grandparents, coaches, professionals. It is equally valuable for those who haven’t yet considered their emotional preparation for departure and desire to leave something meaningful behind.
Why Should You Read This Book?
You should read this book if you want a wake-up call that life has more to offer than accumulation. If you want to walk away feeling empowered—not overwhelmed—about death, loved one’s longevity, and your own exit strategy. It’s a book that says: you matter, your story matters, and the way you live now echoes far into the future. If the idea of leaving something worth remembering appeals to you, then this book is well worth turning the page.
Concluding Thoughts.
In a culture fascinated by youth, hustle and accumulation, Are You Ready? How to Build a Legacy to Die For asks us to shift our gaze toward what endures. It asks what we will name when the ledger of life is called, what measure of love or purpose will be found in the margins. Reading this book doesn’t simply inform you—it invites you into a practice of living so that your exit is as intentional as your journey.
→ Get the book on Amazon or discover more via the author’s website.
* The publisher and editor of this summary review made every effort to maintain information accuracy, including any published quotes, lessons, takeaways, or summary notes.
Chief Editor
Tal Gur is an impact-driven creator at heart. After trading his daily grind for a life of his own design, he spent a decade pursuing 100 life goals around the globe. Tal's journey and recent book, The Art of Fully Living, inspired him to found Elevate Society.
