Becoming isn’t something you do. It’s something you allow.
We are often told that becoming is about striving. We are encouraged to chase goals, push harder, and constantly improve ourselves as if life were a project that could be completed with enough effort. Yet the deepest truth reveals itself differently. Becoming is not something you do. It is something you allow.
Allowing does not mean passivity. It does not mean sitting back and hoping life shapes you into who you wish to be. It means opening space within yourself for what is already seeking to emerge. Just as a seed does not force itself into a tree but allows the natural intelligence within it to unfold, we too are called to surrender to the becoming that is already written in our being.
The mind resists this idea. It loves the illusion of control, believing that if we manage every detail we can dictate who we will become. But control often hardens us, keeping us from the very growth we desire. Allowing, on the other hand, softens us. It invites us to trust that life itself is shaping us in ways our effort alone never could.
Think of a river carving its path through rock. The water does not struggle or strain. It flows, steady and persistent, and in time the canyon forms. The rock may seem immovable, yet it yields. This is the quiet power of allowing. When we align ourselves with the current of life rather than fighting against it, we discover that becoming happens naturally.
In practical terms, allowing can be as simple as creating silence each day. Instead of filling every moment with noise, you pause and listen. In that stillness, clarity rises. A new direction begins to reveal itself, not because you forced it, but because you made space for it. Or consider relationships. The urge to control, to mold others into our vision, often leads to conflict. But when we allow people to be who they are, growth happens for both sides. Space creates transformation.
The metaphor of a butterfly is one of life’s clearest lessons. The caterpillar does not “do” transformation in the way we imagine. It enters a cocoon and surrenders. Within that space, its old form dissolves. What emerges is not a result of endless effort, but of complete allowing. If the caterpillar clung to its old shape, the butterfly could never appear. In the same way, becoming requires us to let go of the old, to trust the mystery of what is forming within, even when we cannot yet see it.
This is not easy, because allowing requires faith. It asks us to trust timing we cannot control, outcomes we cannot predict, and growth we cannot yet measure. The ego wants certainty, but becoming is not about ego. It is about alignment with something deeper. To allow is to step into humility, acknowledging that life often knows more about who we are meant to be than we do.
There will be seasons when allowing feels like stillness, when nothing seems to be happening. But even in those times, the unseen work is unfolding. Roots grow underground before branches reach for the sky. Healing happens in silence before it shows in strength. Becoming is rarely visible at first, but when it ripens, the change is undeniable.
So how do we live this truth? Begin by loosening the grip of control. Notice when your striving is fueled by fear rather than love. Notice when you cling to outcomes instead of trusting the process. Replace the question “What must I force?” with “What am I being invited to allow?” This shift does not make life easier, but it makes it deeper. It transforms growth from an exhausting chase into a sacred unfolding.
When you allow, you discover that life is not against you. It is for you. Every challenge, every silence, every shift becomes part of the becoming. And you realize that your role is not to create yourself from nothing, but to step out of the way so that the deeper truth of who you already are can rise.
Becoming, then, is not a task to achieve. It is a surrender to what is waiting within you. And when you allow it, you will see that the most profound transformations in your life were never forced. They were received. They were allowed.
Chief Editor
Tal Gur is an impact-driven creator at heart. After trading his daily grind for a life of his own design, he spent a decade pursuing 100 life goals around the globe. Tal's journey and recent book, The Art of Fully Living, inspired him to found Elevate Society.
