90 Top Quotes From Radical Acceptance
In "Radical Acceptance," Tara Brach, a renowned psychologist and meditation teacher, presents a compassionate and transformative approach to self-acceptance and inner healing. Drawing from her expertise in mindfulness and Buddhist teachings, Brach guides readers on a journey of embracing their imperfections and vulnerabilities with radical acceptance and unconditional love. She skillfully weaves personal anecdotes, client stories, and ancient wisdom to illustrate the profound impact of self-compassion on overcoming emotional pain and liberating oneself from the grip of negative self-judgment.
Through a blend of meditation practices and psychological insights, Brach offers practical tools to release ourselves from the self-critical inner voice and cultivate a deep sense of belonging and wholeness. By delving into the roots of emotional suffering and the armor of resistance we construct around our hearts, "Radical Acceptance" offers a gentle and empowering path toward emotional healing and genuine self-discovery. (Radical Acceptance Summary).
Radical Acceptance Quotes
"Pain is not wrong. Reacting to pain as wrong initiates the trance of unworthiness. The moment we believe something is wrong, our world shrinks and we lose ourselves in the effort to combat the pain.”
"We are uncomfortable because everything in our life keeps changing - our inner moods, our bodies, our work, the people we love, the world we live in. We can't hold on to anything - a beautiful sunset, a sweet taste, an intimate moment with a lover, our very existence as the body/mind we call self - because all things come and go. Lacking any permanent satisfaction, we continuously need another injection of fuel, stimulation, reassurance from loved ones, medicine, exercise, and meditation. We are continually driven to become something more, to experience something else.”
"Perhaps the biggest tragedy of our lives is that freedom is possible, yet we can pass our years trapped in the same old patterns. We may want to love other people without holding back, to feel authentic, to breathe in the beauty around us, to dance and sing. Yet each day we listen to inner voices that keep our life small.” (Meaning)
"The boundary to what we can accept is the boundary to our freedom.”
"Imperfection is not our personal problem - it is a natural part of existing.”
"The renowned seventh-century Zen master Seng-tsan taught that true freedom is being ""without anxiety about imperfection.”
"The emotion of fear often works overtime. Even when there is no immediate threat, our body may remain tight and on guard, our mind narrowed to focus on what might go wrong. When this happens, fear is no longer functioning to secure our survival. We are caught in the trance of fear and our moment-to-moment experience becomes bound in reactivity. We spend our time and energy defending our life rather than living it fully.”
"Clearly recognizing what is happening inside us, and regarding what we see with an open, kind and loving heart, is what I call Radical Acceptance. If we are holding back from any part of our experience, if our heart shuts out any part of who we are and what we feel, we are fueling the fears and feelings of separation that sustain the trance of unworthiness. Radical Acceptance directly dismantles the very foundations of this trance.”
"What would it be like if I could accept life--accept this moment--exactly as it is?”
"May I love and accept myself just as I am.”
"Radical Acceptance is the willingness to experience ourselves and our lives as it is.”
"But this revolutionary act of treating ourselves tenderly can begin to undo the aversive messages of a lifetime.”
"If we are taken over by craving, no matter who or what is before us, all we can see is how it might satisfy our needs. This kind of thirst contracts our body and mind into a profound trance. We move through the world with a kind of tunnel vision that prevents us from enjoying what is in front of us. The color of an autumn leaves or a passage of poetry merely amplifies the feeling that there is a gaping hole in our life. The smile of a child only reminds us that we are painfully childless. We turn away from simple pleasures because our craving compels us to seek more intense stimulation or numbing relief.”
"There is something wonderfully bold and liberating about saying yes to our entire imperfect and messy life.”
"Nothing is wrong—whatever is happening is just “real life.”
"The only way to live is by accepting each minute as an unrepeatable miracle.”
"In bullfighting there is an interesting parallel to the pause as a place of refuge and renewal. It is believed that in the midst of a fight, a bull can find his own particular area of safety in the arena. There he can reclaim his strength and power. This place and inner state are called his querencia. As long as the bull remains enraged and reactive, the matador is in charge. Yet when he finds his querencia, he gathers his strength and loses his fear. From the matador's perspective, at this point the bull is truly dangerous, for he has tapped into his power.”
"Observing desire without acting on it enlarges our freedom to choose how we live.”
"Fear of being a flawed person lay at the root of my trance, and I had sacrificed many moments over the years in trying to prove my worth."
"On this sacred path of Radical Acceptance, rather than striving for perfection, we discover how to love ourselves into wholeness.”
"Staying occupied is a socially sanctioned way of remaining distant from our pain.”
“Feeling that something is wrong with me is the invisible and toxic gas I am always breathing.”
"Learning to pause is the first step in the practice of Radical Acceptance. A pause is a suspension of activity, a time of temporary disengagement when we are no longer moving toward any goal. . . . The pause can occur in the midst of almost any activity and can last for an instant, for hours or for seasons of our life. . . . We may pause in the midst of meditation to let go of thoughts and reawaken our attention to the breath. We may pause by stepping out of daily life to go on a retreat or to spend time in nature or to take a sabbatical. . . . You might try it now: Stop reading and sit there, doing ""no thing,"" and simply notice what you are experiencing.”
"Attention is the most basic form of love. By paying attention we let ourselves be touched by life , and our hearts naturally become more open and engaged.”
"Spiritual awakening is the process of recognizing our essential goodness, our natural wisdom and compassion.”
"The muscles used to make a smile actually send a biochemical message to our nervous system that it is safe to relax the flight of freeze response.”
"We focus on other people’s faults. There is a saying that the world is divided into people who think they are right. The more inadequate we feel, the more uncomfortable it is to admit our faults. Blaming others temporarily relieves us from the weight of failure. The painful truth is that all of these strategies simply reinforce the very insecurities that sustain the trance of unworthiness. The more we anxiously tell ourselves stories about how we might fail or what is wrong with us or with others, the more we deepen the grooves—the neural pathways—that generate feelings of deficiency. Every time we hide a defeat we reinforce the fear that we are insufficient. When we strive to impress or outdo others, we strengthen the underlying belief that we are not good enough as we are. This doesn’t mean that we can’t compete in a healthy way, put wholehearted effort into work or acknowledge and take pleasure in our own competence. But when our efforts are driven by the fear that we are flawed, we deepen the trance of unworthiness.”
"I was manipulating my inner experience rather than being with what was actually happening.”
"We might begin by scanning our body and then asking, "What is happening?" We might also ask, ""What wants my attention right now?" or, "What is asking for acceptance?"
"The way out of our cage begins with accepting absolutely everything about ourselves and our lives, by embracing with wakefulness and care our moment-to-moment experience. By accepting absolutely everything, what I mean is that we are aware of what is happening within our body and mind in any given moment, without trying to control or judge or pull away. I do not mean that we are putting up with harmful behavior—our own or another’s. This is an inner process of accepting our actual, present-moment experience. It means feeling sorrow and pain without resisting. It means feeling desire or dislike for someone or something without judging ourselves for the feeling or being driven to act on it.”
"If our sense of who we are is defined by feelings of neediness and insecurity, we forget that we are also curious, humorous and caring. We forget about the breath that is nourishing us, the love that unites us, the enormous beauty and fragility that is our shared experience in being alive.”
"There is only one world, the world pressing against you at this minute. There is only one minute in which you are alive, this minute here and now. The only way to live is by accepting each minute as an unrepeatable miracle.”
"We withdraw from our experience of the present moment. We pull away from the raw feelings of fear and shame by incessantly telling ourselves stories about what is happening in our life.”
"The belief that we are deficient and unworthy makes it difficult to trust that we are truly loved”
"Perhaps everything that frightens us is, in its deepest essence, something helpless that wants our love.”
"Don’t turn away. Keep your gaze on the bandaged place. That’s where the light enters you.”
"As I noticed feelings and thoughts appear and disappear, it became increasingly clear that they were just coming and going on their own. There was no sense of a self owning them.”
"Rather than relaxing and enjoying who we are and what we’re doing, we are comparing ourselves with an ideal and trying to make up for the difference.”
"Through the sacred art of pausing, we develop the capacity to stop hiding, to stop running away from our experience. We begin to trust in our natural intelligence, in our naturally wise heart, in our capacity to open to whatever arises. Like awakening from a dream, in the moment of pausing our trance recedes and Radical Acceptance becomes possible.”
"We yearn for an unquestioned experience of belonging, to feel at home with ourselves and others, at ease and fully accepted. But the trance of unworthiness keeps the sweetness of belonging out of reach.”
"Once someone is an unreal other, we lose sight of how they hurt. Because we don’t experience them as feeling beings, we not only ignore them, we can inflict pain on them without compunction.”
"When we get lost in our stories, we lose touch with our actual experience. Leaning into the future, or rehashing the past, we leave the living experience of the immediate moment. Our trance deepens as we move through the day driven by “I have to do more to be okay” or “I am incomplete; I need more to be happy.” These “mantras” reinforce the trance-belief that our life should be different from what it is.”
"Radical Acceptance reverses our habit of living at war with experiences that are unfamiliar, frightening or intense. It is the necessary antidote to years of neglecting ourselves, years of judging and treating ourselves harshly, years of rejecting this moment’s experience. Radical Acceptance is the willingness to experience ourselves and our life as it is. A moment of Radical Acceptance is a moment of genuine freedom.”
"When we pause, we don’t know what will happen next. But by disrupting our habitual behaviors, we open to the possibility of new and creative ways of responding to our wants and fears.”
"The way out of our cage begins with accepting absolutely everything about ourselves and our lives, by embracing with wakefulness and care our moment-to-moment experience.”
"Thoreau writes, “Is there a greater miracle than to see through another’s eyes, even for an instant?”
"Our enjoyment is tainted by anxiety about keeping what we have and our compulsion to reach out and get more.”
"The more different someone seems from us, the more unreal they may feel to us. We can too easily ignore or dismiss people when they are of a different race or religion, when they come from a different socioeconomic “class.” Assessing them as either superior or inferior, better or worse, important or unimportant, we distance ourselves. Fixating on appearances—their looks, behavior, ways of speaking—we peg them as certain types. They are HIV positive or an alcoholic, a leftist or fundamentalist, a criminal or power monger, a feminist or do-gooder. Sometimes our typecasting has more to do with temperament—the person is boring or narcissistic, needy or pushy, anxious or depressed. Whether extreme or subtle, typing others makes the real human invisible to our eyes and closes our heart.”
"Was continually harassed by an inner judge who was merciless, relentless, nit-picking, driving, often invisible but always on the job. I knew I would never treat a friend the way I treated myself, without mercy or kindness.”
"By running from what we fear, we feed the inner darkness.”
"Through Buddhist awareness practices, we free ourselves from the suffering of trance by learning to recognize what is true in the present moment, and by embracing whatever we see with an open heart. This cultivation of mindfulness and compassion is what I call Radical Acceptance. Radical Acceptance reverses our habit of living at war with experiences that are unfamiliar, frightening or intense. It is the necessary antidote to years of neglecting ourselves, years of judging and treating ourselves harshly, years of rejecting this moment’s experience. Radical Acceptance is the willingness to experience ourselves and our life as it is. A moment of Radical Acceptance is a moment of genuine freedom.”
"One tool of mindfulness that can cut through our numbing trance is inquiry. As we ask ourselves questions about our experience, our attention gets engaged. We might begin by scanning our body, noticing what we are feeling, especially in the throat, chest, abdomen and stomach, and then asking, “What is happening?” We might also ask, “What wants my attention right now?” or, “What is asking for acceptance?” Then we attend, with genuine interest and care, listening to our heart, body and mind. Inquiry is not a kind of analytic digging—we are not trying to figure out, “Why do I feel this sadness?” This would only stir up more thoughts. In contrast to the approach of Western psychology, in which we might delve into further stories in order to understand what caused a current situation, the intention of inquiry is to awaken to our experience exactly as it is in this present moment. While inquiry may expose judgments and thoughts about what we feel is wrong, it focuses on our immediate feelings and sensations."
"I became committed to dropping my resistance so I could get to know this energy that was driving the wanting self.”
"I decided that instead of resisting everything, I would agree to everything. I began to greet whatever arose in my awareness with a silently whispered "yes".”
"Feeling not okay went hand in hand with deep loneliness. In my early teens I sometimes imagined that I was living inside a transparent orb that separated me from the people and life around me. When I felt good about myself and at ease with others, the bubble thinned until it was like an invisible wisp of gas. When I felt bad about myself, the walls got so thick it seemed others must be able to see them. Imprisoned within, I felt hollow and achingly alone. The fantasy faded somewhat as I got older, but I lived with the fear of letting someone down or being rejected myself.”
"When radical acceptance blossoms in our relationships, it becomes a kind of spiritual re-parenting that enables us to trust the goodness and beauty of who we really are. Just as good parenting mirrors back to a child that they are lovable, when we understand and accept others, we affirm their intrinsic worth and belonging. To receive this kind of Radical Acceptance can transform our lives.”
"Through the simple practice of seeing our own goodness, we undo the deeply rooted habits of blame and self-hate that keep us feeling isolated and unworthy.”
"The “one I love” was everywhere, including within me.”
"How could we forget those ancient myths that stand at the beginning of all races—the myths about dragons that at the last moment are transformed into princesses. Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are only princesses waiting for us to act, just once, with beauty and courage. Perhaps everything that frightens us is, in its deepest essence, something helpless that wants our love.”
"To failure.” Playing it safe requires that we avoid risky situations—which covers pretty much all of life.”
"But Radical Acceptance also means not overlooking another important truth: the endless creativity and possibility that exist in living. By accepting the truth of change, accepting that we don't know how our life will unfold, we open ourselves to hope so that we can move forward with vitality and will.”
"I’m skimming over life and racing to the finish line—death.”
"Taking our hands off the controls and pausing is an opportunity to clearly see the wants and fears that are driving us.... Often the moment when we most need to pause is exactly when it feels most intolerable to do so.”
"Everything within and around us is subject to change; the truth that if we try to hold on to or resist the stream of experience, we deepen the trance of fear.”
"Make love of your self perfect.”
"As cartoonist Jules Feiffer puts it: “I grew up to have my father’s looks, my father’s speech patterns, my father’s posture, my father’s walk, my father’s opinions and my mother’s contempt for my father.”
"Expansive sky of a “yes” that had endless room for grouchiness and irritation. Critical comments continued to arise, and with yes they continued to pass. When my mind suggested that I was using a gimmick that wouldn’t work for long, saying yes to the story allowed the thought to dissolve. I wasn’t resisting anything or holding on to anything. Moods and sensations and thoughts moved through the friendly skies of Radical Acceptance. I felt the inner freedom that comes from agreeing unconditionally to life. I was inviting Mara to tea."
"Whenever we reject a part of our being, we are confirming to ourselves our fundamental unworthiness.”
"You nights of anguish. Why didn’t I kneel more deeply to accept you, Inconsolable sisters, and, surrendering, lose myself in your loosened hair. How we squander our hours of pain. How we gaze beyond them into the bitter duration To see if they have an end. Though they are really Seasons of us, our winter”
"This means accepting our human existence and all of life as it is. Imperfection is not our personal problem—it is a natural part of existing.”
"The instant we agree to feel fear or vulnerability, greed or agitation, we are holding our life with an unconditionally friendly heart.”
"The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.”
"When we practice pausing and deepening our attention, instead of being driven by unconscious wants and fears, we open up our options. We can choose to let go of our mental commentary and listen more deeply to another person’s words and experience. We can choose to refrain from saying something that is intended to prove we are right. We can choose to name aloud feelings of vulnerability. We learn to listen deeply and speak with mindful presence, to speak what is helpful and true.”
"Buddhist mindfulness meditation called vipassana, which means “to see clearly”
"Our reality is the thoughts and dramas we see in our mental movies."
"Poet Gary Lawless writes: When the animals come to us, Asking for our help, Will we know what they are saying? When the plants speak to us In their delicate, beautiful language, Will we be able to answer them? When the planet herself Sings to us in our dreams, Will we be able to wake ourselves, and act?”
"Whether we feel pleasure or pain, the wings of acceptance allow us to honor and cherish this ever-changing life, as it is.”
"Living in the future creates the illusion that we are managing our life and steels us against personal failure.”
"Feeling that something is wrong with me is the invisible and toxic gas I am always breathing.” When we experience our lives through this lens of personal insufficiency, we are imprisoned in what I call the trance of unworthiness. Trapped in this trance, we are unable to perceive the truth of who we really are.”
"If we bring a steady attention to the immediate physical experience of an emotion, past sensations and stories linked to it that have been locked in our body and mind are “de-repressed.”
"When we get lost in our stories, we lose touch with our actual experience.”
"Clearly recognizing what is happening inside us, and regarding what we see with an open, kind and loving heart, is what I call Radical Acceptance.”
"Those who feel plagued by not being good enough are often drawn to idealistic worldviews that offer the possibility of purifying and transcending a flawed nature. This quest for perfection is based in the assumption that we must change ourselves to belong. We may listen longingly to the message that wholeness and goodness have always been our essence, yet still feel like outsiders, uninvited guests at the feast of life.”
"She could find the cure through being with the pain.”
"In exposing vulnerability we are always taking a chance and sometimes might get hurt. What makes us willing is that the greater hurt, the real suffering, is in staying armored and isolated. While it takes courage to be vulnerable, the reward is sweet: We awaken compassion and genuine intimacy in our relationships with others.”
"At any moment throughout the day, if you find yourself driven by wanting, the question, what does my heart really long for? will help you reconnect to the purity of spiritual yearning. By pausing and asking yourself at any moment, “What really matters? What do I most care about?” you awaken your naturally caring heart.”
"When we say, “I accept myself as I am,” we are not accepting a story about a good or bad self. Rather, we are accepting the immediate mental and sensory experiences we interpret as self. We are seeing the familiar wants and fears, the judging and planning thoughts as a part of the flow of life. Accepting them in this way actually enables us to recognize that experience is impersonal and frees us from the trap of identifying ourselves as a deficient and limited self.”
― Quotes from the book Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach
Radical Acceptance Author
As a prominent psychologist and meditation teacher, Tara Brach has made a significant impact on the field of mindfulness and compassion-based practices. With a compassionate and insightful approach, Brach blends Eastern spiritual teachings with Western psychology to create a powerful and accessible framework for healing and personal growth. Through her teachings, writings, and guided meditations, she emphasizes the practice of radical acceptance, encouraging individuals to embrace their inner struggles and vulnerabilities with kindness and understanding. Her concept of "RAIN" (Recognize, Accept, Investigate, and Nurture) has become a widely recognized method for working with challenging emotions. Tara Brach's work transcends religious boundaries, making mindfulness and self-compassion applicable to people from all walks of life, empowering them to develop a deeper connection with themselves and others while finding a sense of peace and purpose in a rapidly changing world.
Chief Editor
Tal Gur is an author, founder, and impact-driven entrepreneur at heart. After trading his daily grind for a life of his own daring design, he spent a decade pursuing 100 major life goals around the globe. His journey and most recent book, The Art of Fully Living, has led him to found Elevate Society.
