Better the Second Time: Summary Review
What if the second chance you’ve been given at love could actually be better than the first? In Better the Second Time: How to have an Amazing Second Marriage, Chris and Denise Widener offer heartfelt wisdom and practical advice for creating a marriage that's stronger, healthier, and even more fulfilling than before.
What is the Book About?
Better the Second Time isn't just a book about marriage—it’s a powerful guide for those entering a second marriage with hope, lessons from the past, and a fierce determination to build something extraordinary. Drawing from their own experiences and their deep work with couples, Chris and Denise Widener show readers how to approach second marriages with intentionality, maturity, and a realistic understanding of the challenges and opportunities that lie ahead. They dig into the common fears and obstacles that often haunt second marriages and offer clear, practical strategies for navigating blended families, healing old wounds, setting healthy expectations, and reigniting trust and intimacy.
This book encourages readers to shift from a mindset of fear or regret to one of gratitude and optimism. Chris and Denise emphasize that second marriages have unique advantages—greater self-awareness, more wisdom, and a deeper desire to cherish and protect the relationship. Better the Second Time helps couples see how their previous experiences, no matter how painful, can be the very tools that make their next chapter together richer, more resilient, and filled with genuine joy.
Book Details
Print length: 85 pages
Language: English
Publication date: January 29, 2020
Genre: Relationships / Marriage & Long-Term Relationships
Book Authors
Core Theme
At its heart, Better the Second Time is about redemption, intentional growth, and the power of love reborn. Chris and Denise Widener invite readers to see their past not as baggage but as a foundation for a better future. They emphasize that with honesty, communication, and emotional healing, a second marriage can be filled with even more love, trust, and fulfillment than the first. The book tackles critical areas like managing blended family dynamics, learning from previous mistakes, communicating effectively, and rebuilding trust after hurt.
Another major theme woven throughout the book is personal responsibility. Rather than blaming ex-partners or past situations, the Wideners encourage readers to take ownership of their own actions, heal from emotional wounds, and become better partners. They advocate that second marriages should not just be a do-over but a conscious creation of something new, stronger, and beautifully different. It’s a call to not settle for mere survival, but to thrive and flourish in love.
Main Lessons
A few impactful summary lessons from Better the Second Time:
1. Strong Relationships Require Continuous Growth
Even couples in thriving marriages must never become complacent, as true relationship success comes from a continuous willingness to grow, improve, and support one another. By actively reflecting on what is already working while remaining open to learning new approaches, partners can deepen their connection and sharpen their ability to weather future challenges. Growth in a relationship is not just for those who are struggling—it is a commitment to lifelong learning together.
2. Understanding Unique Challenges Strengthens Compassion
Gaining insight into the unique hurdles that second marriages often face—such as blended families, past hurts, and emotional baggage—cultivates a deeper sense of empathy and support, even for those who have only experienced a first marriage. Awareness of these challenges not only broadens one’s perspective but also builds a stronger, more compassionate community that uplifts others navigating more complex relational dynamics.
3. Conflict Resolution Should Be Free from Blame
When disagreements arise, the key to true conflict resolution lies in addressing the issue without assigning blame, creating a space where both partners feel safe to express themselves and seek mutual understanding. By removing blame from the conversation, couples can focus on solutions rather than resentment, nurturing a bond that is resilient, respectful, and genuinely collaborative.
4. Effective Communication Must Be Practiced Intentionally
Healthy communication does not happen by accident; it must be pursued intentionally and honed through practice, patience, and empathy. The ability to truly listen, understand, and respond thoughtfully builds a foundation of trust that can withstand life’s inevitable stresses. Couples who prioritize open dialogue without judgment craft relationships where both voices are valued and heard.
5. Wisdom From Past Mistakes Creates a Stronger Future
One of the greatest advantages of entering a second marriage is the treasure trove of hard-earned wisdom from past mistakes, offering the opportunity to build a healthier, more conscious relationship moving forward. When individuals embrace lessons from previous experiences rather than ignoring them, they step into new relationships with clearer priorities, healthier boundaries, and a deeper appreciation for love’s true work.
6. Success in Love Requires Both Compassion and Patience
Relationships flourish not through grand romantic gestures alone but through the quiet, consistent practice of compassion and patience. As partners mature and grow, learning to meet one another with understanding during moments of vulnerability becomes essential. It is this gentleness, practiced day after day, that strengthens the roots of a lasting, meaningful union.
7. Personal Stories Inspire Hope and Practical Change
By sharing their personal journey, Chris and Denise Widener offer more than advice—they provide a living model of how second marriages can thrive with honesty, effort, and hope. Their openness gives readers permission to believe in second chances while supplying tangible strategies that encourage healthier habits, emotional resilience, and renewed optimism in the pursuit of enduring love.
8. Healthy Relationships Are Built on Mutual Respect
No matter if it’s the first marriage or the fifth, true success is anchored in a deep, mutual respect where both individuals honor each other’s dignity, dreams, and individuality. This commitment to seeing and valuing one another lays the groundwork for not just surviving but truly thriving together, especially when both partners continuously seek to know each other more intimately.
9. Reflection Leads to a Better Relationship Future
Taking time to look inward and seriously assess one's own role in past relationship dynamics is a powerful step toward building a stronger, healthier connection in the future. Self-awareness, coupled with a willingness to grow and change, ensures that old patterns are not mindlessly repeated but instead replaced with healthier, more intentional behaviors that enrich the relationship.
10. Every Relationship Can Be Strengthened by Timely Wisdom
Regardless of where someone stands—whether entering a relationship for the first time, finding love again, or simply seeking to better understand the dynamics of partnership—the wisdom shared in this book offers tools that are universally valuable. Thoughtful advice, when applied with heart and humility, can elevate any relationship, guiding couples toward a shared life that is more joyful, more resilient, and more deeply connected.
Key Takeaways
Key summary takeaways from the book:
- Healing from the past is essential to building a strong and thriving second marriage.
- Communication must be honest, transparent, and filled with grace to foster deep trust and intimacy.
- Blended families bring challenges, but with patience and empathy, they can become a source of immense joy and strength.
- Second marriages can be better because of the wisdom gained from past experiences—if those lessons are consciously applied.
- Love is not just a feeling but a series of intentional actions that need nurturing every single day.
Book Strengths
One of the greatest strengths of Better the Second Time is its heart-centered authenticity—Chris and Denise write with vulnerability, honesty, and warmth, making the book feel less like a lecture and more like a deeply encouraging conversation with trusted friends. Their real-life examples and practical advice are easy to follow, immediately applicable, and delivered with genuine compassion and understanding.
Who This Book Is For
This book is perfect for individuals who are entering a second marriage, contemplating remarriage, or currently navigating the complex waters of blending lives after divorce or loss. It speaks directly to anyone who believes that love deserves a second chance and who is willing to invest the effort and heart needed to make it work beautifully.
Why Should You Read This Book?
If you’ve ever worried that your second marriage might be doomed to repeat the mistakes of the first, this book will lift your spirits and show you a better path forward. With its relatable tone, clear insights, and actionable strategies, Better the Second Time will help you lay a stronger, more enduring foundation for lasting love and partnership. It’s a hopeful, empowering reminder that second chances are not just possible—they can be extraordinary.
Concluding Thoughts.
Better the Second Time is more than just advice for marriage; it’s a heartfelt roadmap for healing, growth, and creating lasting joy. Chris and Denise Widener remind us that love, when nurtured with wisdom and intention, has the power to bloom even more beautifully after heartache. Their guidance is sincere, their examples are real, and their belief in the potential of second marriages is both comforting and inspiring.
For anyone standing at the edge of a new beginning, this book is like a gentle, encouraging hand on your shoulder, urging you forward with hope and courage. → Get the book on Amazon or discover more via the author's website or social channels.
* The publisher and editor of this summary review made every effort to maintain information accuracy, including any published quotes, lessons, takeaways, or summary notes.
Chief Editor
Tal Gur is an author, founder, and impact-driven entrepreneur at heart. After trading his daily grind for a life of his own daring design, he spent a decade pursuing 100 major life goals around the globe. His journey and most recent book, The Art of Fully Living, has led him to found Elevate Society.
