Freedom begins where approval ends.
Imagine you're a bird, wings outstretched, ready to soar through the sky. But, instead of flying freely, you're tethered by strings, each one representing a different person’s expectations and judgments. Every time you try to flap your wings, those strings pull you back, limiting your freedom. This image captures the essence of a powerful idea: true freedom begins when we stop seeking the approval of others.
Consider a painter who creates magnificent pieces of art. The painter could follow trends, mimic others' styles, or seek validation from critics, but this might constrain their creativity. However, when the painter paints for their own joy and self-expression, they break free from those constraints. Their work becomes a true reflection of their soul, unhindered by external opinions. This is what it means when we say freedom starts where the need for approval ends.
Think of your own life as a vast open field. When you're constantly looking over your shoulder, checking if others approve of your choices, you’re not running freely. Instead, you’re jogging cautiously, always aware of who’s watching. But if you let go of that need for validation, you’re free to sprint across that field with confidence, making your own paths, and feeling the exhilaration of living life on your own terms.
Imagine a child learning to ride a bicycle. Initially, the child might be hesitant, worried about what others will think if they fall. But as the child becomes more confident and focused on the joy of riding rather than on the fear of falling, they experience true freedom. They’re no longer held back by the potential judgment of others; they’re simply enjoying the ride.
When we seek approval, we're essentially putting our happiness in someone else’s hands. It’s like handing over the steering wheel of your life to someone who might not have the same destination in mind. Their directions might not align with your dreams or values, leading you away from your true path. But when you release that need for validation, you take back control, steering your own course with confidence and clarity.
Living without the weight of others’ approval allows for genuine self-expression. It’s similar to an artist who paints for their own joy rather than for praise. The art becomes more authentic, vibrant, and meaningful because it’s created from a place of true personal freedom.
In relationships, seeking approval can create imbalance and dissatisfaction. If you’re constantly trying to meet others' expectations, you might lose sight of who you are and what you truly want. Authentic connections are built on mutual respect and understanding, not on fulfilling external expectations. When you free yourself from the need for approval, you can build relationships based on honesty and genuine connection.
Think of a musician playing an instrument. If they’re always worried about how their performance will be judged, their music might lack passion and originality. But when they play for the love of music itself, their performance is rich with emotion and creativity. This freedom to express oneself without the chains of approval leads to more fulfilling and impactful experiences.
Freedom also involves accepting that not everyone will agree with or understand your choices. It's like a path in the forest; some trails are well-trodden, while others are less traveled. The less traveled paths might be less familiar and more challenging, but they can also be more rewarding. By not seeking approval, you’re more likely to venture onto those unique paths that resonate with your true self.
Every time you make a decision based on what you think others want from you, you’re essentially placing your happiness in their hands. But when you let go of the need for approval, you’re reclaiming that happiness and steering your own ship. You become the master of your destiny, navigating through life with a sense of purpose and authenticity.
In summary, true freedom begins when you stop relying on others’ approval and start living for yourself. It’s about taking back control of your life, making choices that resonate with who you are, and embracing the joy of self-expression.
So, here’s a question for you: What would you do differently if you stopped seeking others’ approval and started living for your own joy?
Chief Editor
Tal Gur is an author, founder, and impact-driven entrepreneur at heart. After trading his daily grind for a life of his own daring design, he spent a decade pursuing 100 major life goals around the globe. His journey and most recent book, The Art of Fully Living, has led him to found Elevate Society.
