43 Quotes by Ambrose Bierce
Ambrose Bierce was an American journalist, satirist, and short story writer who is best known for his dark and often cynical humor. He served in the Union Army during the American Civil War and later worked as a journalist for newspapers such as the San Francisco Examiner and the Hearst Corporation. Bierce's writing often addressed themes such as war, death, and the supernatural, and he is perhaps most famous for his short story "An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge." Despite his literary success, Bierce disappeared without a trace in 1913 while traveling to Mexico to join Pancho Villa's army. (Bio)
Ambrose Bierce Quotes
When you doubt, abstain. (Meaning)
Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret. (Meaning)
The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.
War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.
Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
Democracy is four wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch.
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
Idiot, n. A member of a large and powerful tribe whose influence in human affairs has always been dominant and controlling.
He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity.
Convent - a place of retirement for women who wish for leisure to meditate upon the sin of idleness.
Friendless. Having no favors to bestow. Destitute of fortune. Addicted to utterance of truth and common sense.
There is nothing new under the sun but there are lots of old things we don't know.
Friendship: A ship big enough for two in fair weather, but only one in foul.
MINISTER, n. An agent of a higher power with a lower responsibility. In diplomacy, an officer sent into a foreign country as the visible embodiment of his sovereign's hostility.
Feast, n. A festival. A religious celebration usually signalized by gluttony and drunkenness, frequently in honor of some holy person distinguished for abstemiousness.
Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
They say that hens do cackle loudest when there is nothing vital in the eggs they have laid.
Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
INADMISSIBLE- Not competent to be considered. Hearsay evidence is inadmissible ... but there is no religion in the world that has any other basis than hearsay evidence.
A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms agains himself. He makes his failure certain by himself being the first person to be convinced of it.
Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance.
Christian, n.: one who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor.
Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.
Democracy is defended in 3 stages. Ballot Box, Jury Box, Cartridge Box.
An egotist is a person of low taste - more interested in himself than in me.
For every man there is something in the vocabulary that would stick to him like a second skin. His enemies have only to find it.
To the eye of failure success is an accident.
Distance, n. The only thing that the rich are willing for the poor to call theirs and keep.
In each human heart are a tiger, a pig, an ass and a nightingale. Diversity of character is due to their unequal activity.
A nation that will not enforce its laws has no claim to the respect and allegiance of its people.
Dentist: a prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coin out of your pocket.
Happiness is lost by criticizing it; sorrow by accepting it.
If you want to read a perfect book there is only one way: write it.
Responsibility, n. A detachable burden easily shifted to the shoulders of God, Fate, Fortune, Luck or one's neighbor. In the days of astrology it was customary to unload it upon a star.
Money. A blessing that is of no advantage to us excepting when we part with it.
Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
In the algebra of psychology, X stands for a woman's heart.
Disobey n:To celebrate with an appropriate ceremony the maturity of a command
An election is nothing more than the advanced auction of stolen goods.
A popular author is one who writes what the people think. Genius invites them to think something else.
TRUTHFUL, adj. Dumb and illiterate.
LECTURER, n. One with his hand in your pocket, his tongue in your ear and his faith in your patience.
― Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Tal Gur is an author, founder, and impact-driven entrepreneur at heart. After trading his daily grind for a life of his own daring design, he spent a decade pursuing 100 major life goals around the globe. His journey and most recent book, The Art of Fully Living, has led him to found Elevate Society.
