35 Quotes by Bert Kreischer
Bert Kreischer, a stand-up comedian and storyteller, has captivated audiences with his larger-than-life personality, outrageous anecdotes, and infectious enthusiasm. Known for his wild and hilarious tales, Kreischer's comedy often draws from his own experiences, which include his infamous "The Machine" story about his time studying abroad in Russia. His energetic stage presence and willingness to share personal stories with vulnerability and authenticity have endeared him to fans around the world.
Kreischer's style of comedy is characterized by his ability to find humor in the absurdities of everyday life, his self-deprecating humor, and his relatable anecdotes about family, relationships, and his own quirks. Beyond his stand-up comedy, Kreischer has also hosted popular podcasts, appeared in television shows, and embarked on successful comedy tours. His ability to connect with audiences on a personal level and his natural storytelling abilities have solidified Bert Kreischer as a beloved and highly entertaining figure in the comedy world.
Bert Kreischer Quotes
If there's an adrenaline rush, I will find it; if there's an anxiety attack, I will have it.
I adopted a motto: Never say no. Jim Morrison never said no, Kurt Cobain never said no. You couldn't have great things to write about if all you did was sit in your living room with your roommates talking about the phone bill.
It's not hard to find the energy to do the things you absolutely want to do.
You don't go to a school and major in partying. (Meaning)
I'd love to be a movie star. That'd be great. But I lost the looks awhile ago. They slipped right through my hands like sand in an hourglass.
Some of the most fun I've ever had has been filming 'Bert the Conqueror.' As a stand-up comedian, I love putting this humorous spin on travel, and I get the added bonus of using all these wild adventures in my act.
My whole life I've wanted to be famous.
There are days where I'm like, 'Oh, my God, I'm so happy I'm living the life I'm living.'
Skydiving is fascinating, the best part is cruising in the air and realizing that the dice has been thrown and you're either going to die or not. It's a very helpless feeling but it's so freeing.
The Travel Channel named me the professional fun seeker, and that's exactly what I am.
Busch Gardens was my theme park; it was where I went on my day off from school.
Men scream, that's why they gave us voices.
My biggest regret is by far doing the Travel Channel show, 'Bert the Adventurer.' I spent seven years away from my family. I don't regret the job or working for the channel; I regret being away from home.
I'm a big believer in saying things out loud, I think he that helps you focus your goals.
I'd love to write a book called 'How to Raise a Virgin.' Seriously, I think a book about that would sell.
My first stand-up experience was in Tallahassee at a club called Potbelly's.
No matter how successful I may get, I'll always be a failed musician, sitting at a concert double-fisting overpriced twenty-ounce beers, wishing it was me on stage brooding soulfully to my fans. I had my shot once, but I let it slip through my fingers.
Here's the weird thing about me. I was never one to tell you stories about me. I was always the guy who others told stories about. I was like that up until I was 35 years old. And then I started telling stories about me onstage.
I'm such a lazy traveler. When I go to a city now, I hang out around the venue. I'm boring.
I'm just kind of a regular guy.
There is nothing that I'm more compelled to do than get up in front of a crowd and make people laugh.
I've learned to control my anxiety.
People take getting offended in L.A. to an art form.
My second freshman year of college, that's year two of seven, my father got very sick and though he was going to die. He gave me a Rolex, a bottom of the line one. I wore that watch everyday. He didn't die. On my 40th birthday, he gave me a very nice Rolex that belonged to him. That's the one thing we connect on: the watch.
My father grew up in Levittown, L.I., in the first tract housing built for G.I.'s. His dad had stormed the beaches of Omaha and died when my father was very young. My dad had to raise himself, pretty much.
My favorite thing to do is just hang out at home and watch a movie with my wife and my two daughters. There's nothing outrageous about that but it's the best thing I can do.
I'm not technically brand-friendly to feminists.
Part of my personality is I like to have a good time and I'm an extrovert, and extroverts, they blossom as meathead frat boys and extroverts get labeled as meathead frat boys. For me, it's just part of my personality.
I was in New York City and my sister and cousin came out to see me, and I brought a guitar on stage. But all the audience wanted was for me to play so they weren't listing to anything I was saying, I bombed hard. On the cab ride home, my sister pulled a sticker off the cab and put it on my guitar which I still have today in my man cave.
Don't hole up in your apartment and just write jokes, be a real human being and develop your own voice. Then you will be undeniable.
My personality has gotten me some really good job interviews in New York.
The first and last song I ever wrote was a ballad I was quite proud of, and one I would play for anyone, anywhere.
I'm the guy who needs to be front and center. I joined a fraternity to do that.
I'm a comedian. I want you to laugh. That's my main goal. I punch things up to get things tighter, quicker and get you to the joke faster.
Doing a reality show is like being in a fraternity.
― Bert Kreischer Quotes
Chief Editor
Tal Gur is an author, founder, and impact-driven entrepreneur at heart. After trading his daily grind for a life of his own daring design, he spent a decade pursuing 100 major life goals around the globe. His journey and most recent book, The Art of Fully Living, has led him to found Elevate Society.
