185 Quotes by Bill Hicks
Bill Hicks, a groundbreaking comedian and social commentator, fearlessly challenged societal norms and used humor as a vehicle for thought-provoking and often controversial ideas. With his biting wit, intellectual depth, and searing critiques of politics, religion, and consumer culture, Hicks pushed the boundaries of comedy and confronted audiences with uncomfortable truths. His performances were a unique blend of social commentary, philosophical musings, and incisive humor that left a lasting impact on those who experienced them. Hicks's ability to dissect the absurdities of modern life, coupled with his unabashed honesty and passion, earned him a devoted following and established him as a countercultural icon. Though his career was tragically cut short, Hicks's legacy endures, serving as a reminder of the power of comedy to provoke introspection, challenge the status quo, and shine a light on the hypocrisies and injustices of the world.
Bill Hicks Quotes
Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the Weather.
If you want to understand a society, take a good look at the drugs it uses. And what can this tell you about American culture? Well, look at the drugs we use. Except for pharmaceutical poison, there are essentially only two drugs that Western civilization tolerates: Caffeine from Monday to Friday to energize you enough to make you a productive member of society, and alcohol from Friday to Monday to keep you too stupid to figure out the prison that you are living in.
Don't worry; don't be afraid, ever, because this is just a ride.
Just a simple choice, right now, between fear and love. The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your doors, buy guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love instead see all of us as one.
I'm tired of this back-slappin' "isn't humanity neat" bullshit. We're a virus with shoes.
I believe that there is an equality to all humanity. We all suck.
Watching television is like taking black spray paint to your third eye.
I don't like anything in the mainstream and they don't like me.
It has become more and more obvious that there is one political party in America, and that is The Business Party.
And on the seventh day, god stepped back and said and said, "This is my creation, perfect in every way... oh, dammit I left all this pot all over the place. Now they'll think I want them to smoke it... Now I have to create Republicans."
It's not a war on drugs, it's a war on personal freedom.
Any organization created out of fear must create fear to survive.
Life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves.
The world is like a ride in an amusement park. And when you choose to go on it you think it's real because that's how powerful our minds are. And the ride goes up and down and round and round. It has thrills and chills and it's very brightly coloured and it's very loud and it's fun, for a while. Some people have been on the ride for a long time and they begin to question: "Is this real, or is this just a ride?" And other people have remembered, and they come back to us, they say, "Hey, don't worry, don't be afraid, ever, because this is just a ride." And we kill those people.
If you are living for tomorrow, you will always be one day behind. (Meaning)
If you don't think drugs have done good things for us, then take all of your records, tapes and CD's and burn them.
No one can give you any answers. There aren't any. You have to discover for yourself-you must learn to navigate the mystery.
Children are smarter than any of us. Know how I know that? I don't know one child with a full time job and children.
Christianity has a built-in defense system: anything that questions a belief, no matter how logical the argument is, is the work of Satan by the very fact that it makes you question a belief. It's a very interesting defense mechanism and the only way to get by it -- and believe me, I was raised Southern Baptist -- is to take massive amounts of mushrooms, sit in a field, and just go, "Show me.".
It's all about money, not freedom. If you think you're free, try going somewhere without money, okay?
You know all the money we spend on nuclear weapons and defence every year? Trillions of dollars? Correct? Trillions. Instead, if we spent that money feeding and clothing the poor of the world,which it would pay for many times over, not one human being excluded, not one, we could, as one race, explore outer space together in peace forever
I'm glad mushrooms are against the law, because I took them one time, and you know what happened to me? I laid in a field of green grass for four hours going, "My God! I love everything." Yeah, now if that isn't a hazard to our country... How are we gonna justify arms dealing when we realize that we're all one?
I believe that God left certain drugs growing naturally upon our planet to help speed up and facilitate our evolution.
They proved that if you quit smoking, it will prolong your life. What they haven't proved is that a prolonged life is a good thing. I haven't seen the stats on that yet.
No one knows what it's like ... to be a dustbin ... in Shaftesbury ... with hooligans.
How many people disapprove of the job the Conservatives are doing? Seventy percent. Of those same people, how many will vote for them again? ...Seventy percent. What the fuck? Where did they take this poll, at an S&M parlor?
Eternal suffering awaits anyone who questions god's infinite love.
When you're...stepping over a guy on the sidewalk...does it ever occur to you to think, 'Wow. Maybe our system doesn't work?'
There is a 3rd point of view on the gun control issue - those who I refer to as THE VICTIMS - but they remain strangely silent.
All your beliefs, they're just that. They're nothing. They're how you were taught and raised. That doesn't make 'em real.
If you're so pro-life, do me a favour: don't lock arms and block medical clinics. If you're so pro-life, lock arms and block cemeteries.
Yesterday, some hooligans knocked over a dustbin in Shaftesbury.
The next revolution is gonna be a revolution of ideas.
Why is marijuana against the law? It grows naturally upon our planet. Doesn’t the idea of making nature against the law seem to you a bit . . . unnatural?
The puppet on the right shares my beliefs, the puppet on the left is more to my liking. Hey...there's one guy holding up both!
You know what I hate about working? Bosses...The very idea that ANYONE could be my boss, well...I think you see the conflict.
We all pay for life with death, so everything in between should be free.
All governments are lying cocksuckers.
Laughter makes the bitter swallowing of truth, for some, a little easier.
When two or more people agree on an issue, I form on the other side.
It is hard to quit smoking. Every one of them looks real good to me right about now. Every cigarette looks like it was made by God, rolled by Jesus and moistened shut with Claudia Schiffer's pussy.
I'm just trying to rid the world of all these fevered egos that are tainting our collective unconscious.
It's an insane world, and I'm proud to be a part of it.
Why do we put people who are on drugs in jail? They're sick, they're not criminals. Sick people don't get healed in prison. You see? It makes no sense.
You think when Jesus comes back, he really wants to see a cross? That's like going up to Jackie Onassis with a rifle pendant on.
You watch the news these days? It's unbelievable. You think you just walk out your door, you're immediately gonna be raped by some crack-addicted, AIDS-infected pitbull.
Folks, it's time to evolve. That's why we're troubled. You know why our institutions are failing us, the church, the state, everything's failing? It's because, um - they're no longer relevant. We're supposed to keep evolving. Evolution did not end with us growing opposable thumbs. You do know that, right?
Shut up! Go back to bed, America. Your government is in control. Here's Love Connection. Watch this and get fat and stupid.
England, where no one has guns: 14 deaths. United States...23,000 deaths from handguns. But - there's no connection.
The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your doors, buy guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love, instead, see all of us as one.
People say to me, Hey, Bill, the war made us feel better about ourselves. Really? What kind of people are these with such low self-esteem that they need a war to feel better about themselves? May I suggest, instead of a war to feel better about yourself, perhaps... sit-ups? Maybe a fruit cup? Eight glasses of water a day?
Pot is a better drug than alcohol. I'll prove it to you. You're at a ball game or a concert, and someone's really violent and agressive and obnoxious, are they drunk or are they smoking pot?
That's starting to depress me about UFOs. The fact that they cross galaxies...and always end up in places like Fyfe, Alabama.
I've learned a lot about women. I think I've learned exactly how the fall of man occured in the Garden of Eden. Adam and Eve were in the Garden of Eden, and Adam said one day, Wow, Eve, here we are, at one with nature, at one with God, we'll never age, we'll never die, and all our dreams come true the instant that we have them. And Eve said, Yeah... it's just not enough is it?
People always snap and think they're Jesus. How come no one ever snaps and thinks they're Buddha?
What kind of people are these with such low self-esteem that they need a war to feel better about themselves?
I'm an American who loves an America which doesn't exist, which is a land of freedom and free ideas.
While I've found many of the religious shows I've viewed over the years not to be to my liking, or in line with my own beliefs, I've never considered it my place to exert any greater type of censorship than changing the channel, or better yet - turning off the TV completely.
Your denial is beneath you, and thanks to the use of hallucinogenic drugs, I see through you.
You are the imagination of yourself.
What does an atheist scream when they come?
Keith Richards outlived Jim Fixx, the runner and health-nut dude. The plot thickens.
Is it my business if somebody wants to burn a flag?...No, it's not...That's called logic and it'll help us all evolve.
Rock stars against drugs--that's what we want, isn't it? Government-approved rock-n-roll? Woo! We're partying now!
It's really weird how your life changes. Tonight I'm drinking water. Four years ago? Opium. Night and day, you know?
Supreme Court says pornography is anything without artistic merit that causes sexual thoughts, that's their definition, essentially. No artistic merit, causes sexual thoughts. Hmm... Sounds like... every commercial on television, doesn't it? You know, when I see those two twins on that Doublemint commercial? I'm not thinking of gum. I am thinking of chewing, so maybe that's the connection they're trying to make.
I, like all artists in Western cultures, am a shaman...come in the guise of a comic...to heal perception by using...'jokes'.
Courtroom for Ted Bundy's trial is packed with women, trying to meet him and give him love letters and wedding-fucking-proposals...and the first thought that enters my mind is, "And I'm not getting laid." What am I doing wrong?
That's why I always recommend a psychedelic experience because it makes you realize that all you've learned is in fact just learned and not necessarily the truth.
"They tell us ""Rock'n'roll is the devil's music."" Well, let's say we know that rock is the devil's music, and we know that it is, for sure ... At least he f-kin' jams! If it's a choice
between eternal Hell and good tunes, and eternal Heaven and New Kids on the f-kin' Block ... I'm gonna be surfin' on the lake of fire, rockin' out."
I smoke to fill the potholes in my soul
Man, the Beatles were so high, they let Ringo sing a coupla tunes. Tell me they weren't partyin'.
What strikes me as funny about Elvis is that all the impersonators choose to do the Vegas Elvis; not the young, cool guy, always the bloated fool.
We are losing the 'War on Drugs,' which means there's a war going on and people on drugs are winning it.
The Voice of Reason is in us all...and everyone can recognize it because it makes sense and everyone benefits from it equally.
The best kind of comedy to me is when you make people laugh at things they've never laughed at, and also take a light into the darkened corners of people's minds, exposing them to the light.
I'm a heavy smoker. I go through two lighters a day.
...love rather than fear...this radical philosophy is coming from me, an avowed misanthrope...surely there is hope for us all.
The American dream is a crock. Stop wanting everything. Everyone should wear jeans and have three T-shirts, eat rice and beans.
Marijuana: a drug that kills … no one – and let's put it in a time frame – ever. Illegal.
Sixteen years I've pounded my head against the mentality of America, which...I'd say it's about an 8th grade emotional level.
"Smoking may cause fetal injury or premature birth." ... I found my brand. Just don't get the ones that say, "Lung Cancer."
Nicotine patches are great. Stick one over each eye and you can't find your fags.
It's always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's just hilarious.
To me pornography is...spending all your money and not educating the people in America, but spending it instead on weapons.
Isn't that weird, we've made nature against the law. That's how un-natural we've become.
It's hard to have a relationship in this business...it's gonna take a very special woman...or a bunch of average ones.
Do I have a message? Yes, I do. Here's my message: as scary as the world is – and it is – it is merely a ride ...
Music is a great energizer. It's a language everybody knows.
Would you let the aliens land, please? They might be here to pick me up.
What did moths bump into before the electric light bulb was invented? Boy, the lightbulb really screwed the moth up didn't it? Are there moths on their way to the sun now going, It's gonna be worth it!.
not all drugs are good.. some of them are great
Women priests. Great, great. Now there's priests of both sexes I don't listen to.
Why is marijuana against the law? It grows naturally on our planet, serves a thousand different functions, all of them positive. To make marijuana against the law is like saying that God made a mistake.
We are the facilitators of our own creative evolution.
Pornography is any act that has no artistic merit and causes sexual thoughts...Sounds like almost every commercial on TV to me.
All day long you see those commercials: 'Here's Your Brain, Just Say No'...and the next commercial is: 'This Bud's For You.'
Be yourself on stage. Nobody else can be you and you have the law of supply and demand covered.
Let me tell you about gays in the military. I don't want any gay people hanging around me while I'm killing kids. I just don't want to see it.
The world's like a ride in a fairground & when you choose to go on it you think it's real, that's how powerful our minds are
I can't watch TV longer than five minutes without praying for nuclear holocaust.
They Want You To Be A Docile Apathetic Consumer
The whole image is that eternal suffering awaits anyone who questions God's infinite love. That's the message we're brought up with, isn't it? Believe or die! Thank you, forgiving Lord, for all those options.
Go back to bed America, your government is in control again. Go back to bed America... you are free to do as we tell you... you are free to do as we tell you.
The war on drugs to me is absolutely phoney, its so obviously phoney, ok? It's a war against our civil rights, that's all it is. They're using it to make us afraid to go out at night, afraid of each other, so that we lock ourselves in our homes and they get suspending our rights one by one.
I am an evolved being who deals solely with the source of light...in all of us in our own minds. No middleman required.
You want a better world...? Legalize pot right now. ...end the deficit? Legalize pot right now...biggest cash crop in America.
Oh--won't we party hard when L.A. goes kersplash?...L.A. fell in the ocean?... There is a God. He loves us all so much.
As long as one person lives in darkness then it seems to be a responsibility to tell other people.
Sometimes my dad even gets on this kick--'You hate this country'....I have to tell him...I just hate being lied to.
My voice was not heard, the questions were not asked that I wanted to see asked.
A lotta Christians wear crosses 'round their necks; do you think if Jesus comes back he ever wants to see another cross?
We really are All One....this is the very philosophy that has kept me virtually anonymous in America for fifteen years.
What before seemed a...frustrating wall, the comic deftly and fearlessly steps through, proving the absurdity of it all.
I'll tell you how to solve this abortion thing...Those unwanted babies...? Leave about 12 of them on the Supreme Court steps.
To make marijuana against the law is like saying God made a big mistake.
Truly, the only stupid people I've ever met, the most absolutely clueless, are the very people that produce television.
How come people always flip and think they're Jesus? Why not Buddha? Particularly in America, where more people resemble Buddha than Jesus. 'Ah'm BUDDHA!' 'You're Bubba!' 'Ah'm Buddha now..All I gotta do is change 3 letters on ma belt.
I've had seven balls of light come off a UFO...explain to me telepathically we are all one and there's no such thing as death.
In the beginning God created the heavans and the earth... see you at the final.
People are bringing SHOTGUNS to UFO sightings...brings a whole new meaning to that phrase 'You ain't from around here, ar'ya?'
If ur going to have a war on drugs, have them against ALL drugs, including alcohol, the number one offender.
Why is pot against the law? It wouldn't be because anyone can grow it, and therefore you can't make a profit off it, would it?
But where did this veneration of childbirth come from? I missed that meeting. Childbirth is wonderful, childbirth is a miracle. Wrong. It's no more a miracle than eating food and a turd coming out your ass.
BTW A 24 week old embryo is not a human being. You're not a human being until you're in my phone book.
Billy Ray Cyrus does not smoke. Michael Bolton doesn't...Paula Abdul doesn't...there does seem to be a pattern.
Ultimately, it is in fun. It is supposed to be highly entertaining.
The role of the comedian is to say 'Wait a minute' when a consensus starts to form.
Humanity is just a virus with shoes.
God has this...hobby. He creates perfection. This world is not perfect. We have to learn to separate illusions from reality.
I'm very tired of staring out into your vacant faces looking back at me. Wanting to fill your empty lives with humor you couldn't possibly think of yourself... Good evening!
think a Marlboro Light's gonna faze him that much."
You're not a human till you're in my phone book. There. My hat is now in the political ring.
People in the United Kingdom and outside the United States share my bemusement with the United States that America doesn't share with itself.
Surgeon General's warning ought to read: Smoking has been determined t0 cause cancer, heart disease & rednecks with seniority.
This is the idea that has made me...an anonymous figure in America...If you have children here tonight...they are NOT special.
Writing, acting, music, comedy. A deep love of literature and books. Thank God for all the artists who've helped me.
How about a positive LSD story? Wouldn't that be news-worthy, just the once? To base your decision on information rather than scare tactics and superstition and lies? I think it would be news-worthy.
Let's do some comedy. I always like to add some comedy to my show. Those who've seen me before might know that.
I've said all that I've had to say.
To me, Texas is Austin, a bunch of cool people trying to make a difference.
And if I can take part in it by transforming my own consciousness, then someone else's, I'm happy to do it.
We're supposed to keep evolving. Evolution did not end with us growing opposable thumbs. You do know that, right?
What's gonna happen to the arms industry when we realize we're all one. Ha ha ha ha ha! It's gonna fuck up the economy! The economy that's fake anyway! Ha ha ha! Which would be a real bummer. You know. You can see why the government's cracking down... on the idea of experiencing unconditional love, ah.
Good comedy helps people know they're not alone. Great comedy provides an answer.
It seems to me that there will be a point in out development or our evolution where you put your guns aside.
Is it impossible to imagine Americans sneaking into Mexico en masse, seeking regular employment and a better way of life?
I just have one of those faces. People come up to me and say, 'What's wrong?' Nothing. 'Well, it takes more energy to frown than it does to smile.' Yeah, you know it takes more energy to point that out than it does to leave me alone?
The CIA has a plot...they've used before to get rid of world leaders. Only problem...is convincing Hussein...to fly to Dallas.
The definition of black irony is Pro-lifers killing Doctors who do abortions
On the theft of his material by Denis Leary: "I have a scoop for you. I stole his act. I camouflaged it with punchlines, and to really throw people off, I did it before he did."
We killed 6 innocent people, launching 22, I think $3 million apiece missiles on Baghdad...that's a little bit overdoing it.
See we just had a misunderstanding. I thought we lived in the U.S. of A., the United States of America. But actually we live in the U.S. of A., the United States of Advertising. Freedom of expression is guaranteed? If you've got the money!
Nonsmokers--this is for you and you only. Ready? Nonsmokers die every day. Sleep tight.
[Comedy] is an escape from illusions. The audience is...thinking, 'This bullshit we see and hear all day makes no sense.'
Rock stars hawking Diet Cokes--are demons set loose on the Earth to lower the standards for the perfect & holy children of God!
Mummy, I woke today and there was a Lincoln Log in me sock drawer! ... That's the story of Jesus.
I believe that God left certain drugs growing naturally upon our planet to help speed up and facilitate our evolution. OK, not the most popular idea ever expressed. Either that or you're all real high and agreeing with me in the only way you can right now. (Starts blinking)
I'm sorry if any of you are Catholic. I'm not sorry if you're offended, I'm actually just sorry by the fact that you're Catholic.
Well we looked at all the people in the Bible and we added 'em up all the way back to Adam and Eve, their ages: 12,000 years.
I believe the cost of life is Death and we will all pay that in full. Everything else should be a gift.
I've had good times on drugs...bad times on drugs...But I've had good and bad relationships...and I'm not giving up pussy.
Childbirth is no more a miracle then eating food and a turd coming out of your ass.
What do you say we lighten things up and talk about abortion?
I was in Australia....Lotta leg room down under. Apartments: dollar a month. 2000-acre den....think of the parties.
In Australia...they celebrate Easter the same...by telling our children a giant bunny rabbit...left chocolate eggs in the night
Speaking of Satan, I was watching Rush Limbaugh the other day.
It's my object to be stared at like a dog that's just been shown a card trick.
You ever notice that everyone who believes in creationism looks really un-evolved?
Dinosaur fossils were placed in rocks by prankster God just to make human beings think the world is older than it is.
We are one with God and He loves us. Now if that isn't a hazard to this country-How're we gonna keep building nuclear weapons?
Are gun rights advocates arguing that roving gangs...shooting innocent bystanders constitutes a 'well-regulated militia'?
People in the U.K. share my bemusement with the United States that America doesn't share with itself. They have a sense of irony, which America doesn't have, seeing as it's being run by fundamentalists who take things literally.
Marijuana grows naturally...Don't you think making nature against the law seems a bit, I don't know, unnatural?
I'm just skin covering coffee and some real nervous teeth.
Okay, I got one word to ask you, a one word question, ready?
Will there be titty? Sure. Boom! I'm a producer. Where you been all our life, boy? We been lookin for you in Hollywood.
Sometimes you feel in control, and it's great, but sometimes you just don't feel in control and you really have to struggle to get laughs.
Right foot, left foot, hemorrhage.
I'm totally confused about what I'm going to do with my life.
How dare you have wino tell me not to do drugs.
So scary watching the news...Like Iraq...could ever under any stretch of the imagination be any threat to us whatsoever.
Where's Bill going?' He's going to comedy death. Boom! He pops out of it with another joke. It's my particular style.
That's what I'm gonna do: quit gradually...I'm gonna lose one lung; little while later I'm gonna lose the other one.
It's not that I disagreed with Bush's economic policy... I believed he was a child of Satan here to destroy the planet.
― Bill Hicks Quotes
Chief Editor
Tal Gur is an author, founder, and impact-driven entrepreneur at heart. After trading his daily grind for a life of his own daring design, he spent a decade pursuing 100 major life goals around the globe. His journey and most recent book, The Art of Fully Living, has led him to found Elevate Society.
