240 Quotes by Charles M. Schulz

All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.

Be yourself. No one can say you're doing it wrong.

Life is like a ten speed bicycle. Most of us have gears we never use.

Nothing echoes like an empty mailbox.

Just thinking about a friend makes you want to do a happy dance, because a friend is someone who loves you in spite of your faults.

Learn from yesterday, live for today, look to tomorrow, rest this afternoon.

It's better to live one day as a lion than a dozen years as a sheep.

All his life he tried to be a good person. Many times, however, he failed. For after all, he was only human. He wasn't a dog.

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It was a dark and stormy night. - Snoopy

I don't think God wants to be worshiped. I think the only pure worship of God is by loving one another, and I think all other forms of worship became a substitute for the love that we should show one another.

In life, it's not where you go, it's who you travel with.

The best theology is probably no theology; just love one another.

Snoopy didn't start off being a Beagle. It's just that 'beagle' is a funny word.

Happiness is anyone and anything that's loved by you.

There are three things I have learned never to discuss with people...religion, politics and the Great Pumpkin!

Happiness is a warm puppy.

I think I've discovered the secret of life - you just hang around until you get used to it.

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It just seems that if you hang on for a while longer, there is always something bright around the corner, or the dark clouds will go away and there will be sunshine again.

I don't know the meaning of life. I don't know why we are here. I think life is full of anxieties and fears and tears. It has a lot of grief in it, and it can be very grim. And I do not want to be the one who tries to tell somebody else what life is all about. To me it's a complete mystery.

This is my depressed stance. When you're depressed, it makes a lot of difference how you stand. The worst thing you can do is straighten up and hold your head high because then you'll start to feel better. If you're going to get any joy out of being depressed, you've got to stand like this.

It was a dark and stormy night. Suddenly, a shot rang out! A door slammed. The maid screamed. Suddenly, a pirate ship appeared on the horizon! While millions of people were starving, the king lived in luxury. Meanwhile, on a small farm in Kansas, a boy was growing up.

Love is sharing your popcorn.

What's the sense in having an eclipse if you can't look at it? Somebody in production sure slipped up this time!

Jogging is very beneficial. It's good for your legs and your feet. It's also very good for the ground. If makes it feel needed.

Friendship isn't about who you've known the longest. It's all about the friend who comes and stands by your side in bad times.

My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I'm happy. I can't figure it out. What am I doing right?

I think I'm afraid of being happy because whenever I get too happy something bad always happens.

I am not concerned with simply surviving. I am very concerned about improving. I start each day by examining yesterday's work and looking for areas where I can improve. I am always trying to draw the characters better, and trying to design each panel somewhat in the manner a painter would treat his canvas.

Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.

A glacier will frequently move forward one foot while retreating three feet... Which reminds me a lot of myself!

There is no heavier burden than an unfulfilled potential.

In the Book of Life, The answers aren't in the back.

Big sisters are the crab grass in the lawn of life.

I have a new philosophy. I'm only going to dread one day at a time.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but it sure makes the rest of you lonely.

Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask why me? Then a voice answers nothing personal, your name just happened to come up.

Life is like an ice-cream cone, you have to lick it one day at a time.

Are you upset little friend? Have you been lying awake worrying? Well, don't worry...I'm here. The flood waters will recede, the famine will end, the sun will shine tomorrow, and I will always be here to take care of you.

If I were given the opportunity to present a gift to the next generation, it would be the ability for each individual to learn to laugh at himself.

I gave up trying to understand people long ago. Now I let them try to understand me!

Exercise is a dirty word. Every time I hear it I wash my mouth out with chocolate.

I love mankind; it's people I can't stand.

It's either the flu or love. The symptoms are the same.

Why can't we get all the people together in the world that we really like and then just stay together? I guess that wouldn't work. Someone would leave. Someone always leaves. Then we would have to say good-bye. I hate good-byes. I know what I need. I need more hellos.

Love is a letter on pink stationery.

Try not to have a good time... this is supposed to be educational.

All of earth's creatures have, hidden within their beings, a wild uncontrollable urge to punt!

What's this? That little red-haired girl dropped her pencil... Gee... It's got teeth marks all over it... She nibbles her pencil... She's human!

Christmas is doing a little something extra for someone.

Each year, the Great Pumpkin rises out of the pumpkin patch that he thinks is the most sincere. He's gotta pick this one. He's got to. I don't see how a pumpkin patch can be more sincere than this one. You can look around and there's not a sign of hypocrisy. Nothing but sincerity as far as the eye can see.

If you can't beat 'em, cooperate 'em to death!

What's the good of living if you don't try a few things?

I want to be liked... No, I want to be more than just liked... I want people to say, "that Charlie Brown is a great guy!" And when people are at parties, I want them to look for me, and when I finally arrive, I want them to say, "here comes good ol' Charlie Brown... Now everything will be all right!" I want to be a special person... I want to be needed... It's kind of hard to explain... Do you understand? I mean, do you know what I'm talking about?" "Sure, I understand perfectly..." "Well?" "Forget it! Five cents, please!

A whole stack of memories never equal one little hope.

The worst part of it is you don't know if he's barking at an owl, the moon or a burglar!" "That's one of the drawbacks of a limited vocabulary!

If you grit your teeth and show real determination, you'll always have a chance.

Don't be a leaf... Be a tree!

No problem is too big to run away from.

Why is it that you don't love me?" "Sometimes I wish I knew..." "Don't anybody tell him!!

Happiness is waking up, looking at the clock and finding that you still have two hours left to sleep.

Never jump into a pile of leaves with a wet sucker.

The world is filled with unmarried marriage counselors.

You know what Oscar Wilde said, ma'am? He said, "nothing that is worth knowing can be taught". Nothing personal, ma'am... Carry on.

Sometimes you lie in bed at night, and you don't have a single thing to worry about...That always worries me!

Only in math can you buy sixty cantaloupes and no one asks what the hell is wrong with you.

It doesn't matter what you believe just so long as you're sincere.

There sure are a lot of these 'instant' products on the market. Instant coffee, instant tea, instant pudding, instant cereal... instant dislike.

Winning isn't everything, but losing isn't anything.

I have a feeling that when my ship comes in I'll be at the airport.

One moment, please... We interrupt our regular program to bring you this special bulletin: It's a nice day outside.

This is my report on how to live... They say the best way is just to live one day at a time... If you try to live seven days at a time, the week will be over before you know it.

Never lie in bed at night asking yourself questions you can't answer.

Snoopy: So this is the last day of the year. Another complete year gone by and what have I accomplished this year that I haven't accomplished every other year? Nothing! (He smiles.) How consistent can you get?

What if everyone in the whole world suddenly decided to run away from his problems?" "Well, at least we'd all be running in the same direction!

I proved to you that psychiatry is an exact science!" "An exact science?!" "Yes, you owe me exactly one hundred and forty-three dollars!

There's nothing like unrequited love to take all the flavor out of a peanut butter sandwich.

Though her husband often went on business trips, she hated to be left alone. "I've solved your problem," he said. "I've bought you a St. Bernard. Its name is Great Reluctance. Now, when I go away, you shall know that I am leaving you with Great Reluctance!" She hit him with a waffle iron.

Security is a thumb and a blanket. Happiness is a warm puppy.

Goodbys always make my throat hurt... I need more hellos.

A cartoonist is someone who has to draw the same thing day after day without repeating himself.

I have observed that whenever you try to hit somebody, there is a tendency for them to try to hit you back.

There is no greater burden than great potential.

Sucking your thumb without a blanket is like eating a cone without ice cream!

That's the only dog I know who can smell someone just thinking about food.

No problem is so formidable that you can't walk away from it.

Wouldn't it be nice if our lives were like VCRs , and we could 'fast forward' through the crummy times?

There's no sense in doing a lot of barking if you don't really have anything to say.

There's a difference between a philosophy and a bumper sticker.

For a nothing, Charlie Brown, you're really something!

Yesterday I was a dog. Today I'm a dog. Tomorrow I'll probably still be a dog. Sigh! There's so little hope for advancement.

I love humanity, it's people I don't like.

The term that best describes me now is 'secular humanist.'

I think anybody who is writing finds he puts a little bit of himself in all of the characters, at least in this kind of a strip. It's the only way that you can survive when you have to do something every day. You have to put yourself, all of your thoughts, all of your observations and everything you know into the strip.

Charlie Brown, Snoopy, Linus, Lucy. How can I ever forget them.

A good education is the next best thing to a pushy mother.

I can hear my heart beating. I can hear my stomach growling. I can hear my teeth grinding and my joints creaking. My body's so noisy, I can't sleep.

Empty?! You took all the cookies!" "They were crying to get out of the jar... Cookies get claustrophobia too, you know!

I love America. It's Americans I can't stand.

A tragic life is romantic when it happens to somebody else.

Decorate your home. It gives the illusion that your life is more interesting than it really is.

That's the secret to life... replace one worry with another.

Lucy: Our teacher wants us to write an essay on praying. Charlie Brown: Praying is important when you wake up at two o'clock in the morning feeling sick from eating something dumb the day before. Lucy: I'll just say we were out of town and I didn't have time to write anything.

I think we can rule out 'mixed brain dominance' as a cause of your poor performance at school, Charlie Brown" "Have you ruled out stupidity?" "Peanuts", Charles M

Dear IRS, I am writing to cancel my subscription. Please remove my name from your mailing list.

I never made a mistake in my life. I thought I did once, but I was wrong.

No one would have been invited to dinner so often as Jesus was unless he were interesting and had a sense of humor.

Some days, a beautiful sunset with your best friend can be one of the most peaceful and relaxing mediations of the day.

I do not like a high-organized church. I think that as soon as the congregation reaches a level of one hundred or so people, it is time to build a new church. As soon as the congregation gets to the point where you are not on fairly intimate terms with every other person in that church, then you have become a theater where people can attend services. I do not think you can attend a church service. Service is not something which is there to be viewed as if it were a play or a movie.

How can we lose when we're so sincere?

My mind reels with sarcastic replies.

Have you ever known anyone who was happy? And was still in his right mind, I mean.

You know what I think my best quality is? I think I'm nice to have around. I'd hate it if I weren't around!

Dear Valentine, I love you. Whoever you are.

No matter what anyone says, it's much worse to be unloved than it is to be lost in the woods." "Sometimes, I think you've been lost in the woods all your life, Charlie Brown.

I'm dying and all I hear are insults!

You're a good man, Charlie Brown.

A bean bag is a perfect place to sulk. You can sink way down deep, and sulk for hours... You only have to stick your head up once in a while... to see if anybody cares.

Beethoven can't really be great because his picture isn't on a bubble gum card.

The only thing I ever wanted to be was a cartoonist. That's my Life. DRAWING.

Dear Valentine, I have thought of you often. Not all the time, but often.

Do what is absolutely you and nobody else.

Brothers and sisters should never be in the same family.

No problem is so big or so complicated that it can't be run away from!

It always looks darkest just before it gets totally black.

Sometimes I lie awake at night thinking about all the dumb things I do every day... If I live to be eighty and I do ten dumb things each day... That would be about two hundred and ninety thousand dumb things... When you add up all the dumb things you do, it's best to use round figures.

Never give your heart to a blockhead.

Lucy was using my blanket to dry the dishes. We now have very secure dishes!

Sometimes I feel that life has passed me by... Do you ever feel that way, Charlie Brown?" "I feel that it has knocked me down and walked all over me!

Five hundred years from now, who'll know the difference?!

Humor is proof that everything is going to be all right with God nevertheless.

Love is letting him win even though you know you could slaughter him.

I was jumping rope. Everything was fine. And then suddenly everything seemed so futile.

I feel sorry for little babies... When a little baby is born into this cold world, he's confused! He's frightened! He needs something to cheer him up... The way I see it, as soon as a baby is born, he should be issued a banjo!

Cartooning is preaching. And I think we have a right to do some preaching. I hate shallow humor. I hate shallow religious humor, I hate shallow sports humor, I hate shallowness of any kind.

On a beautiful day like this it would be best to stay in bed so you wouldn't get up and spoil it!

Nobody likes me!" "I wish I could like you, Charlie Brown, but I can't... If I were to like you, it would be admitting that I was lowering my standards! You wouldn't want me to do that, would you? Be reasonable! I have standards that I have set up for liking people, and you just don't meet those standards! It wouldn't be reasonable for me to like you!" "I hate myself for being so unreasonable!

Life is like a game, Charlie Brown... Sometimes you win... Sometimes you lose." "I'll be happy if I just make the playoffs.

You try for a little happiness, and what do you get? A few memories and a fat stomach!

Years are like candy bars... We're paying more, but they're getting shorter.

Lucy: You learn more when you lose Charlie Brown: Well then I must be the smartest person in world!!!

Charlie Brown: "Life is just too much for me... I've been confused right from the day I was born... I think the whole trouble is that we're thrown into life too fast... We're not really prepared..." Linus: "What did you want... A chance to warm up first?"

Christmas is a box of tree ornaments that have become part of the family.

For one brief moment victory was within our grasp!" "And then the game started!

Nobody remembers who came in second.

The crabby little girls of today are the crabby old women of tomorrow!

I feel kind of depressed today... Do you ever have the feeling that life has passed you by? Worse than that... Sometimes I think life and I are going in opposite directions!

Do you have your own room, Charlie Brown?" "Oh, yes... I have a very nice room." "I hope you realize that you won't always have your own room... Someday you'll get drafted or something, and you'll have to leave your room forever!" "Why do you tell me things like that?" "It's on a list I've made up for you... I call it, Things You Might As Well Know!

One night I was sitting listening to some Hank Williams songs - and they'll change your life in a hurry.

Dearest darling, how I love you. Words cannot tell how much I love you. So forget it.

Sometimes I think my soul is full of weeds!

I just draw what I think is funny, and I hope other people think it is funny, too.

Never set your stomach for a jelly-bread sandwich until you're sure there's some jelly!

Linus: It was a short summer, Charlie Brown. Charlie Brown: And it looks like it's gonna be a looong winter.

LINUS: Where are you going for Thanksgiving, Charlie Brown? CHARLIE: My father, my mother, Sally, and I are all going to my grandmothers for dinner. SALLY: Do you want to come too, Linus? We can hold hands under the table. LINUS: BLECH!

If I were a better artist, I'd be a painter, and if I were a better writer, I'd write books.. but I'm not, so I draw cartoons!

Happiness is a sad song.

Why me, lord? Don't answer that!

"Linus Van Pelt: Well, I can understand how you feel. You worked hard, studying for the spelling bee, and I suppose you feel you let everyone down, and you made a fool of yourself and everything. But did you notice something, Charlie Brown?

Charlie Brown: What's that?

Linus Van Pelt: The world didn't come to an end."

My anxieties have anxieties.

Beauty Tips - How to Look Younger: Don't be born so soon.

There is nothing more attractive than a nice smile

To dance is to live!

It is difficult to talk about what I do, because I do it so I don't have to talk about it.

When no one loves you, you have to pretend that everyone loves you.

Your stupidity is appalling!" "Most stupidity is!

I wonder if there's such a thing as a spiritual dentist? I think my whole personality is full of cavities!

Sometimes, when you're really depressed, all you want to do is nothing. All you want to do is lean your head on your arm, and stare into space. Sometimes this can go on for hours. If you're unusually depressed, you may have to change arms.

Linus: What would you say you want most out of life, Charlie Brown? To be happy? CB: Oh, no. I don't expect that. I really don't. I just don't want to be unhappy!

I guess it's wrong always to be worrying about tomorrow. Maybe we should think about today..." "No, that's giving up... I'm still hpoing that yesterday will get better.

Do you ever feel like running away?" "Of course... Sometimes I feel like I want to run away from everything." "I remember having that feeling once when I was at the Daisy Hill Puppy Farm... I climbed over the fence, but I was still in the world!

People shouldn't be embarrassed just because they get caught acting a little silly.

If life were a camera, I'd have the lens cap on.

All is well... That's my new philosophy.

Charlie Brown got hit with a line-drive!" "Does anyone here know anything about first-aid?" "It's probably not serious... Second or third-aid will do.

You know, in a way, 'Dear Santa Claus' is rather stuffy... Perhaps something a little more intimate would be better... Something just a shade more friendly..." "How about 'Dear Fatty'?

I’m torn between the desire to create and the desire to destroy.

Valentine, just a few words to tell you how I love you. I have loved you since the first day I saw you. Whenever that was.

I've been thinking... Maybe you're a mockingbird... Mockingbirds imitate the songs of other birds... No, I've never heard of any copyright problems.

That stupid Charlie Brown! He had the nerve to say I'm not perfect!" "So I suppose you hit him, huh?" "Rats! I knew I forgot something!

I've learned all I need to know to live under a bed.

A kiss on the nose does much toward turning aside anger.

All I wanted to do was be a hero... But do I ever get to be a hero? All I ever get to be is the stupid goat!" "Don't be discouraged, Charlie Brown... In this life we live, there are always some bitter pills to be swallowed..." "If it's all the same with you, I'd rather not renew my prescription!

It's a mistake to try to avoid the unpleasant things in life... But I'm beginning to consider it.

Going to our school is an education in itself which is not to be confused with actually getting an education.

Travel tips: How to avoid carsickness, seasickness and airsickness... Be careful what you eat. And stay home.

Life is full of choices, but you never get any!

Love makes you do strange things.

Happiness is loving your enemies.

Sometimes I lie awake at night, and wonder if my life would be different if I had to do it over... Then a voice comes to me out of the dark that says, "boy, there's an original thought!

When you die, are you ever allowed to come back?" "Only if you had your hand stamped.

I've always been criticized, right from the beginning! Right from the very first day I was born... They said I wasn't right for the part!

Aren't the clouds beautiful? I could just lie here all day, and watch them drift by.

You can't eat compliments.

Little brothers are the buck privates of life!

Life is too short not to live it up a little!

I despise those shallow religious comics. Dennis the Menace, for instance, is the most shallow. When they show him praying - I just can't stand that sort of thing, talking to God about some cutesy thing that he'd done during the day. I don't think Hank Ketcham has any deep knowledge of things like that.

Mom put a note in my lunch again, I see... Dear son, I hope you will study hard in summer school... Do not look upon it as a punishment, but rather as a privilege... We are very proud of you, and want you to have a good education. This note will self-destruct in five seconds.

A beep on the nose is a sign of great affection.

See the valentine I made for Linus? On the inside, I wrote, To my sweet babboo." "He says he's not your sweet babboo." "What does he know?

You can't survive by sucking the juice from a wet mitten.

Sometimes I lie awake at night and think about that little red-haired girl... I don't ever want to forget her face, but if I don't forget her face, I'll go crazy... How can I remember the face I can't forget? Suddenly I'm writing country western music!

Nobody gave me what I wanted for my birthday! Nobody! What sort of presents do you call these? New shoes, a green sweater and a bunch of stupid toys!" "What were you expecting?" "Real estate!

Those dreams I have at night are going to drive me crazy. Last night I dreamed that little red-haired girl and I were eating lunch together... But she's gone... She's moved away, and I don't know where she lives, and she doesn't know I even exist, and I'll never see her again... And... I wish men cried.

You can't write a term paper before breakfast.

I guess babysitters are like used cars... You never really know what you're getting.

There is no problem so big it cannot be run away from.

The hand that controls the supper dish rules the world!

I come from a long line of generations!

Schroeder, do you think love is the answer to everything?" "Boy, I hope not!

I enjoy looking at your face... Whenever I look at your face, a question always comes to my mind... Will man ever succeed in reaching the moon?

Love is not knowing what you're talking about.

It won't do you any good to run if you're running the wrong way. I've developed a new philosophy...I only dread one day at a time.

I fall in love with any girl who smells of library paste.

How is the birdhouse coming along, Charlie Brown?" "Well, I'm a lousy carpenter, I can't nail straight, I can't saw straight and I always split the wood... I'm nervous, I lack confidence, I'm stupid, I have poor taste and absolutely no sense of design... So, all things considered, it's coming along okay!

The secret to speed-reading is moving your lips faster.

The early bird gets the worm but the late bird doesn't even get the late worm.

Duck, big brother! Here comes another day!

How can I play baseball when I'm worried about foreign policy?

I'm depressed! I'm completely depressed! I am firmly convinced that there is no one in this world who really likes me!" "So what else is new?

Of all the Charlie Browns in the world, you're the Charlie Brownest.

The rain washed away my pitcher's mound... I'm a pitcher without a mound... I'm a lost soul... I'm like a politician out of office." "Or a sailor without an ocean..." "Or a boy without a girl.

Sometimes, when you walk by the home of the girl you love, you can see her standing by the window... She waves at you, and you wave back... But it's her grandmother.

I just don't know how to write a love letter. What can you say to a girl that shows you really like her?" "How about, enclosed please find a cookie?

I've tried to be a better person... I've tried, and tried and tried! You know how hard I've tried! Tell me how I've tried..." "Nice try... Five cents, please!

All you require is adore. But just a little chocolate at times will not damage.

Bob Dylan will be thirty years old this month..." "That's the most depressing thing I've ever heard.

My grandfather has been very depressed lately. He just doesn't know what to do. He says it's late in the game, and he's afraid that life has him beaten." "Tell him to take out the goalie.

If you're going to draw a comic strip every day, you're going to have to draw on every experience in your life.