100 Quotes by Joe Rogan

Joe Rogan, a multifaceted entertainer, has carved out a distinctive space in the world of comedy and media. Known for his candid and long-form podcast, he engages with a wide array of guests, fostering insightful conversations that span from comedy and culture to science and philosophy. Rogan's stand-up comedy showcases his unique ability to weave humor with introspection, often touching on personal experiences and societal observations. Beyond comedy, his hosting of mixed martial arts events and his exploratory approach to various topics have solidified his status as a cultural influencer. With an affable demeanor and a knack for drawing out the essence of his guests, Rogan's work exemplifies the power of genuine dialogue in understanding the diverse tapestry of human thought and experience.

Joe Rogan Quotes

If you ever start taking things too seriously, just remember that we are talking monkeys on an organic spaceship flying through the universe.

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The people I know that have the hardest time keeping it together emotionally are people that don't workout.

As a longtime practitioner of yoga and a person who's been involved in physical fitness my whole life, I can tell you, yoga helps you achieve altered states of consciousness. It is not just stretching. The only way you can say that it's stretching is if you haven't done it, or that you haven't done it rigorously for a long period of time.

One of the most fascinating lessons I've absorbed about life is that the struggle is good.

The time you spend hating on someone robs you of your own time. You are literally hating on yourself and you don't even realize it.

The number one reason why marijuana is illegal is because the Pharma Cartel does not want you to grow your own medicine. The Declaration of Independence was written on hemp paper. The first car ever made ran on hemp oil. Hemp seeds are also the healthiest food on the planet with the highest protein content out of any plant.

If you attach your mind to any ideology, you're going to be on a road, and that road may or may not lead you in a good direction. But you're gonna stay on that road because you are attached to an ideology. It could be a terrible road, but you stick with it regardless of rational thinking.

The key to happiness doesn't lay in numbers in a bank account but in the way we make others feel.

Build confidence and momentum with each good decision you make from here on out and choose to be inspired.

You're just part of the soup of the universe, so just try to enjoy what's good about it.

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The Universe rewards calculated risk and passion

Greatness and madness are next door neighbours; and they borrow each other's sugar. You don't get there without the other.

There's a direct correlation between positive energy and positive results.

This country has a mental health problem disguised as a gun problem, and a tyranny problem disguised as a security problem.

Aspire to be the man you pretend to be when you're trying to get laid.

We have to start treating each other as if we are treating ourselves living another life.

Life is strange. You keep moving and keep growing. Before you know it, you look back and think, "What was that?"

I'll go to church with anyone who's willing to smoke pot and look through a telescope with me.

So instead of investing your time in a passion, you’ve sold your life to work for an uncaring machine that doesn’t understand you. That’s the problem with our society. And what’s the reward? Go home and get a big TV.

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It's been one of the most important tools for me in personal growth for understanding myself, how I am, and what effect I do have on other people.

Haters are all failures. It's 100% across the board. No one who is truly brilliant at anything is a hater.

There's only 2 reasons that you hate gay marriage; 1. You're dumb, or 2. You're secretly worried that dicks are delicious.

I realized a long time ago that instead of being jealous you can be inspired and appreciative. It carries more energy to you.

Selling your life to sit in a box and work for a machine. An uncaring machine that demands productivity that doesn't understand you and doesn't want to understand you... There's no natural behaviour. Everyone is wearing clothes they don't want to wear. Everybody is showing up and doing something they don't want to do. They have no connection to it. That's the problem with our society.

The quicker we all realize that we've been taught how to live life by people that were operating on the momentum of an ignorant past the quicker we can move to a global ethic of community that doesn't value invented borders or the monopolization of natural resources, but rather the goal of a happier more loving humanity.

You are one miniscule piece of a never-ending cycle. In fact, you're not even a piece. You're just a holder for billions and billions of other pieces. Whether that's organic components, living organisms inside your body, bacteria or whatever it is, you're just part of the soup of the universe, so just try to enjoy what's good about it.

To really appreciate life you got to know you're going to die.

The beautiful thing about podcasting is it's just talking. It can be funny, or it can be terrifying. It can be sweet. It can be obnoxious. It almost has no definitive form. In that sense it's one of the best ways to explore an idea, and certainly much less limiting than trying to express the same idea in stand up comedy. For some ideas stand up is best, but it's really, really nice to have podcasts as well.

I've been inspired by a shitload of people in my life so if there's ever anybody that I can inspire, to me that's a huge gift. To be able to turn that back around.

Faith itself is a horrible mechanism that stunts the growth of ideas. It also stunts the act of questioning, and it does this by pushing the idea that you have to have faith - and that nothing has to be proven.

For many people the reason why they're idiots is not necessarily that their brain doesn't work well, it's that they got in a terrible pattern.

No matter how civilized we are and how much society has curbed violent behavior. Human beings still have the same genes they had 10,000 years ago. Our bodies are designed to have a certain amount of physical stress and violence in them. We're designed to run from jaguars and fight to defend our territory.

If life wasn't real it would be the craziest psychedelic trip ever

Our entire civilization is built on a foundation of unfixable bullshit.

After this whole acting thing is over and done, you eventually have to be human. Some people are never human. It's very weird.

Live your life like you're the hero in your movie and right now.

The people who could most benefit from the self-reflective ego-dissolving qualities of cannabis are the ones that want it to be illegal.

Kindness is one of the best gifts you can bestow... We know that inherently that feels great.

In order to be truly great at something you have to give into a certain amount of madness.

We live in a society that makes it really easy for these pussies to get by.

The planet's spinning a thousand miles an hour around this gigantic nuclear explosion while these people roll these machines with rubber tires over this hard surface that we've laid down over the planet so that we can easily move ourselves back and forth.

I want to make sure that everything that I'm creating, I'm creating it so other people get enjoyment out of it. And that's the reward that you get for that.

The sensory deprivation chamber has been the most important tool that I've ever used for developing my mind

A unicorn is a donkey from the future

I realized a long time ago that instead of being jealous you can be inspired and appreciative. It carries more energy to you... That can be an awesome motivating force that can improve your life if you choose to be inspired and not jealous. One being jealous has no benefit whatsoever, the other is an incredible resource for creating momentum and improvement.

I think it would do a lot of people good just to realize how vulnerable they are.

What's interesting about science is that we're constantly discovering new things about the universe, about ourselves, about our bodies, about diseases, about the possibilities of the future. It's amazing. Science is one of the coolest things about being a human being - without a doubt.

When someone comes along and expresses him or herself as freely as they think, people flock to it. They enjoy it.

I don't know much about the music business, but for just general advice for someone trying to create things, as simple as this sounds, I think the best thing you can do is constantly try to improve upon your work. Always focus on that first and foremost, and leave everything else (marketing, image) completely secondary. Obviously, easier said than done when you're trying to make a living, but if you can move along those lines and earnestly try to make things that you really enjoy it can only benefit you in the long run.

Excellence in anything increases your potential in everything.

That's my only goal. Surround myself with funny people, and make sure everyone has a good time and works hard.

When you're jealous, especially of someone else's art or creations you automatically put up these selfish walls that reinforce your stupid ideas. It's hard to pull those walls down and look at what you're hiding. Look at your own weakness and realize that the jealousy came from knowing that you're intimidated by someone else's work, and that when you compare it to your own, you fall short.

There's a never-ending ocean of techniques out there.

If you're dumb enough to do crack, you're supposed to die. It's evolution.

I always try to look at conflicts from as many different angles as is humanly possible, and in a lot of ways there is no one answer.

"I think that one of the reasons why people look towards the end of humanity is that people are afraid to die alone. If you die alone, the people you love will miss you, or if they die, you miss them - the sorrow is inevitable. When you truly love someone, the thought of losing them forever is horrible."

Martial arts are a vehicle for developing your human potential.

Someone else's success does not equal a failure for you.

It's a weird experience when you're just trying to talk openly about how you think psychedelic drugs and marijuana are beneficial, or a lot of different drugs, especially plant-based ones, can be beneficial. Especially those ones that have some connection to organic life, I feel like you can learn something from them, from mushrooms, from peyote, from marijuana. They can be used as a tool.

It's a very strange thing when you make nature illegal.

Teaching someone that doesn't know something forces you to think about almost every single aspect of it, including parts of it that you could sort of take for granted.

People say you can abuse marijuana. You can abuse cheeseburgers. Does that mean we should close Burger Kings.

Never stay in a bad marriage, and don't hang around with psycho coke fiends.

I think comedy because of the Internet it has a bigger audience, a bigger fan base. It has fans that understand comedy more than any generation before because there is more guys like you, more guys like me, more guys like Louie CK who talks about it a lot. When you get a chance to see perspective that I don't think you ever got to see before.

No girl wants a secretly gay boyfriend, every dude wants a secretly gay girlfriend.

You can't measure what's inside a man's heart.

My company is called Talking Monkey, Inc. It's because that's what I think all people are: talking monkeys.

One of the great things about Houston is that they police themselves. It's the way Boston was in the '80s. No hacks or thieves are tolerated in the community, and that's HUGE.

Maybe we can combine 2 things that everybody loves. Helping out the poor and blow jobs.

Once you understand what excellence is all about... you see how that excellence manifests itself in any discipline.

I don't really like actors. Actors are like terrible comedians with no punch lines. It's all about them. They talk about themselves all the time. They bore the sh - t out of you.

The only time I commit to conspiracy theories is when something way retarded happens. Like Lee Harvey Oswald acting alone.

You're sort of programmed a certain way because of your environment. That's all you know. But we don't have that anymore because of the internet. Because of the internet we're all communicating with each other all across the board, so you're getting information from people all around the world, hitting a much more diverse slice of culture.

I see martial arts as moving forms of meditation. When you're sparring or drilling techniques, you can't think of anything else.

Like bees creating a beehive or ants creating an anthill we're all moving along creating something and we're not sure what it is.

When you're standing around for an hour doing stand up it's no big deal but when you're standing around watching a show for an hour - it's a big difference. It's annoying - your feet hurt, your back hurts - it's just not the most comfortable way to see stand-up comedy.

We're constantly re-evaluating the potential for life. We're finding it where we didn't think it could exist, such as volcanic vents and other extreme conditions like under arctic ice. We're finding life in these incredibly harsh and dynamic conditions, so we're having to re-evaluate our own ideas of what's possible on this planet alone.

Comedy is a funny thing, and it's really not like any other art form in that it's very specialized and varied in it's content, but generic in it's title. You would never go to a club just to see "Live music," you would go to a jazz club to see jazz, a blues club to see blues, etc. But when you go to see "standup comedy," if you don't know the performers material, you really don't have any idea what you're gonna get.

I had seen movies before that that had made me laugh, but I had never seen anything even remotely close to as funny as Richard Pryor was, just standing there talking.

If you can lie, you can act, and if you can lie to crazy girlfriends, you can act under pressure.

The misconception is that standup comics are always on. I don't know any really funny comics that are annoying and constantly trying to be funny all the time.

People are scared man, they're scared of the void.

Every single religion that has ever been on the face of the Earth, ever, is a cult. That’s all they are.

A lot of times, you beat a person who beat a person who can beat you. I mean, it doesn't make any sense.

Having the privilege of sitting down and having 3 hour long uninterrupted conversations with hundreds of brilliant people is an awesome perspective enhancer.

By putting yourself in that intense form of stress, it makes regular life more peaceful.

The mind is the most important thing of the big picture and no one has a stronger mindset than amateur wrestlers.

The two things I understand best are stand-up comedy and martial arts. And those things require an ultimate grasp of the truth. You have to be objective about your skills and abilities to compete in both.

Reality really is theater. There's no other way to describe it. It's all so nonsensical, ridiculous and chaotic.

I had a great time on News Radio, I got to make tons of money in relative obscurity and learn a lot about the TV biz and work on my standup act constantly. It was a dream gig.

The audience changes every night. You're the same person. You have to speak your mind and do the stuff that you think is funny and makes you laugh.

"I wouldn't totally rule out doing Letterman or the Tonight Show if I had a set that I just happened to write that I thought was funny but was still appropriate for network censors. But I'm not going to go out of my way."

The best way to pursue any discipline is the martial art way.

I talk so much about sex that girls just want to meet me.

I don`t like people that make their living talking about bullshit, and you see them in many shows that are made on the same subject. When you go looking at UFOs or bigfoot or what-have-you, there's just nothing there.

Houston people are way cool. They're smart, they know how to have a good time, and they have the hottest chicks on the planet there.

If I could, I would live in Houston, and I would encourage any comic starting out looking for a good place to develop to move there.

People love to see people fall.

I'm really happy that I've been able to make people laugh and distract them from their day to day bullshit at a comedy show or because they enjoyed one of my CDs or TV specials, but I don't know how many people have actually had life changing thoughts because of it.

If you are the greatest, why would you go around talking about it?

Most of my bits are long stream-of-consciousness- type things, and when I'm doing them onstage, other places to take the theme or idea will hit me, and I just go with it.

Stand-up is still my favorite, but the podcast is a close second. It's so fun, and it's given me the oppor-tunity to have three-hour conversations with people I wouldn't have otherwise been able to talk to. When I talked to Maynard Keenan from Tool, I almost couldn't believe it was happening.

Being a celebrity or anything else where you're really ambitious, it's really a game to see how successful you can get.

I really never had any ambitions to be a standup comic. I was talked into it by guys that I used to work out with.

I thought eventually I'd have a family and I really didn't want to be a loser like that guy in his 40s still shopping his band's shitty demo tapes around.

I want to talk about the nature of human beings or how we're evolving as a race.

It never hurt Lenny Bruce's career to get arrested for swearing. It did back in the time, but he broke those doors down by doing the stuff that he believed in.

Not all comedy clubs or situations are ideal, especially when you're first coming up and I think that's good for you. Eventually you get to express your real personality.

My act is so completely and totally uncensored that the only way I could really pull it off is if I treat the audience like they're my best friends.

Have you ever talked to someone, and you're not even really talking to them? Actors are the worst for that.

It's impossible to measure the type of mental strength and determination that's required to be an elite wrestler.

I don't care if you're gay, black, Chinese, straight. That means nothing to me. It's all an illusion.

I've done jiujitsu a huge chunk of my life, and I try to spend a lot of time educating people on the nuances, the subtleness of the ground game. It's a big part of mixed martial arts.

There's a confidence and a mental toughness that comes from the very highest level of competition, whatever the sport is. Whether it's boxing or wrestling, or whatever.

Faggot never meant "gay" when I was a kid. You kind of knew that you could call a gay person faggot if you were ignorant, but nobody ever called someone a faggot if they were gay.

I love existing in pre big bang conditions.

One of the things that happened is I did a lot of shitty gigs. When you do a bunch of shitty bar gigs you have to get used to people yelling at you, you're used to thinking on the fly, to dealing with weird situations.

You want to talk about the word faggot because it really offends you? Well you're a douchebag.

If the world was an etch-a-sketch, glaciers are the big shake.

People for the most part can smell lies.

I like LA because it has a giant supply of great comedians.

A comic, all they have to do is, if you do something funny in a comedy club and you put it up on you tube, it might get a million hits! All it needs to do is resonate with one person who sends it to their friends, who sends it to other people, and before you know it, it has spread virally and BOOM! All of a sudden that person has a name.

People for the most part can smell lies, at least I thought that until I saw audiences applaud at Carlos Mencia.

If you haven't peed the bed, you haven't taken enough chances.

You could smell my ass from mars.

People do always try to smoke pot with me. But I think some of those people are cops.

Cities are natural, that's why they're everywhere. It's not like there's only one city, and everybody's like 'What the f**k is this?' No, cities are all over the place. They're natural. You know what's not natural? You, in the middle of the mountains, in the middle of the winter.

Like if you all were going to go out and one guy's like "you know what man I'm going to stay home I'm feeling kind of shitty," you go, "You faggot." That's what it means. It's about a guy wimping out, being a douchebag...it has nothing to do with your sexual orientation.

On my left knee I have a long scar from an ACL operation. I've had both knees reconstructed.

I do cagefight commentary in my spare time.

I've actually been doing stand up for more than 20 years. I started in 1988. It's almost 30 years! Which is crazy.

There's a classic story I tell about when I did the Man Show about the retarded conversations that you have with the executive producers and the network.

Any comic like myself owes everything he has to Lenny Bruce. He was the originator. The godfather of uncensored American stand-up is clearly Lenny Bruce.

I had a sense of who I was before I got famous.

Despite all the advancements in science, and all things about religion that are disproved it still marches on. The bottom line is that the only real, absolutely provable answers about life and our place in the universe are provided by science, and religion has been holding down science since day one.

I read the things that scientists have figured out, and apply what they say is beneficial, but at the end of the day I'm the wrong person to get unchallenged nutritional advice from.

― Joe Rogan Quotes

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Chief Editor

Tal Gur is an author, founder, and impact-driven entrepreneur at heart. After trading his daily grind for a life of his own daring design, he spent a decade pursuing 100 major life goals around the globe. His journey and most recent book, The Art of Fully Living, has led him to found Elevate Society.

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