Thanks for the Feedback: Summary Review
This is a summary review of Thanks for the Feedback containing key details about the book.
What is Thanks for the Feedback About?
"Thanks for the Feedback" is a book that explores the art of receiving feedback and how to turn it into a growth opportunity.
In Thanks for the Feedback, they explain why receiving feedback is so crucial yet so challenging, offering a simple framework and powerful tools to help us take on life’s blizzard of offhand comments, annual evaluations, and unsolicited input with curiosity and grace. They blend the latest insights from neuroscience and psychology with practical, hard-headed advice. Thanks for the Feedback is destined to become a classic in the fields of leadership, organizational behavior, and education.
Summary Points & Takeaways from Thanks for the Feedback
Some key summary points and takeaways from the book include:
* Feedback is a gift, but it can be difficult to receive and process.
* There are three types of feedback: appreciation, coaching, and evaluation.
* Feedback can be delivered in two different styles: "Sugar-Coated" and "Straight-Talk."
* The "feedback sandwich" is an ineffective way to give feedback.
* The "feedback funnel" is a more effective way to give and receive feedback.
* To receive feedback, it is important to be open-minded, ask questions, and avoid defensiveness.
* To give feedback, it is important to be specific, focus on behavior and impact, and avoid criticism.
* The "feedback loop" is a continuous process of giving and receiving feedback.
* Regular feedback can improve relationships and performance.
* Feedback is most effective when it is timely, specific, and actionable.
Who is the author of Thanks for the Feedback?
Sheila Heen is an American author, educator and public speaker. She is a senior lecturer on Law at Harvard Law School, member of the Harvard Negotiation Project.
Doug Stone is a Managing Partner at Triad Consulting Group and a Lecturer on Law at Harvard Law School, where he teaches negotiation.
Thanks for the Feedback Summary Notes
Understanding the Three Types of Feedback
Have you ever received feedback that left you wondering how to use it to improve? That's probably because the feedback was not the right type for the situation. In "Thanks for the Feedback," the author highlights three types of feedback - appreciation, coaching, and evaluation - and their distinct functions. Appreciation motivates and encourages, coaching helps you improve, and evaluation provides clarity on where you stand and what's expected of you.
Knowing the right type of feedback for a particular situation can make all the difference. If you're feeling drained after giving your all, appreciation for your effort can be a powerful motivator. On the other hand, if you're struggling and need guidance, coaching is what you need. Evaluation is particularly useful in formal settings, such as at work or school, as it can help you understand where you stand and what you need to do to meet expectations.
By understanding the three types of feedback and their functions, you can seek out the right feedback to help you improve. Whether it's asking a professor for pointers on how to improve your writing or seeking out a coach to help you improve your performance, learning to identify what feedback you need can be a valuable skill. So next time you receive feedback, consider what type of feedback it is and whether it's the right type for your needs.
Understanding Feedback: How to Receive and Respond to it Effectively
Feedback is an essential tool for growth and development, but it can also be tricky to navigate. In this article, we explore the importance of understanding feedback and how it can be used to improve ourselves.
One key idea is to understand the different types of feedback and their purposes. There are three main types: appreciation, coaching, and evaluation. Appreciation motivates and encourages, coaching helps improve performance, and evaluation helps understand where we stand and what is expected of us.
Another key idea is to understand feedback itself. Before becoming defensive, it is important to consider the intentions of the person giving the feedback and to look for key points. Often, feedback consists of generic comments that lack specificity and can be interpreted differently by different people. Understanding the context and specific reasons behind the feedback is crucial in understanding how to respond to it.
It is also important to understand what the person giving feedback wants us to do with it. This involves understanding their view of us and recognizing that our own perception of ourselves is not always objective. Feedback from others can provide valuable insights, especially when they have access to more information than we do.
The Importance of Feedback in Seeing Your Blind Spots
Have you ever wondered why you receive feedback that doesn't match your self-perception? The truth is, we see ourselves differently than others do. Our facial expressions, tone of voice, and actions all convey information about us that we might not be aware of. This is why feedback is so important - it helps us see our blind spots.
When we receive feedback, we should take the time to understand the intentions behind it. Sometimes, feedback can seem generic or unclear, but it might be more specific than we realize. For example, if someone tells us that we're a reckless driver, we need to ask ourselves why they think that. Do they see us on our phone while driving? Do they think we take unnecessary risks? Understanding the context and specific reasons behind feedback is essential to understanding our blind spots.
Feedback is also crucial in helping us see ourselves objectively. We tend to view ourselves in a more positive light than others do, which can lead to blind spots. For example, if we're trying to be friendlier to our coworkers but don't genuinely mean it, they might see through our insincere smile. We might think we're making progress, but they might see us as less friendly than before. By receiving feedback, we can learn about these blind spots and work to improve them.
The key takeaway is that feedback is essential in helping us see ourselves objectively and identify our blind spots. We need to take the time to understand the intentions behind feedback and be open to the possibility that our self-perception might not match how others perceive us. By doing so, we can use feedback to build on our strengths and improve our weaknesses, ultimately becoming better versions of ourselves.
The Role of Relationships in Receiving Feedback
Receiving feedback can be a challenging experience, especially when it comes from someone we know and trust. One of the key ideas highlighted here is that relationships play a significant role in how we interpret feedback. We tend to take feedback more positively from people we trust and respect, while we may reject feedback from those we perceive as competitors or with whom we have a complicated relationship.
Our personal relationship dynamics can also influence how we receive feedback. For example, if our partner gives us a gift we don't like and we complain, they might feel we are unappreciative. Both sides have valid points, but if we let our emotions get the best of us, the feedback will not be productive.
Furthermore, we tend to judge feedback based on whether we think the person giving it is trustworthy and sincere. We may dismiss feedback from our best friend or someone we perceive as less experienced or knowledgeable about the subject. However, this judgment can be counterproductive, and we may miss out on valuable insights that could help us grow and develop.
Navigating Relationships in Giving and Receiving Feedback
The authors explore how relationships can create tension when giving and receiving feedback. The dynamics between people can influence how feedback is perceived and interpreted. Trust, sincerity, and the environment are just a few factors that can impact these relationships.
In some cases, our roles in certain environments, such as work or family, can cause problems in communication. A promotion that turns a close friend into a boss can create a difficult relationship to navigate. Similarly, the environment can impact interactions, as seen in a car accident where it's important to look at the whole picture rather than immediately blaming one driver.
It's essential to take a step back and look for other forces at play when receiving feedback. This analysis doesn't justify behavior, but it helps to understand it. Understanding is key to making the most of feedback. By considering your feelings toward the person giving the feedback and their feelings toward you, you can navigate the tension that can arise in feedback conversations.
Understanding how our brains and emotions affect feedback analysis
Have you ever wondered why some people handle feedback better than others? The way we accept feedback is largely influenced by our brain wiring and emotions. Our genes define our baseline level of well-being, which in turn affects our sensitivity to feedback. People with a higher baseline of happiness are more likely to respond well to positive feedback, while those with a lower baseline are more likely to respond poorly to negative feedback.
Furthermore, our brains also influence how fast we recover from feedback. Research has shown that the time we need to recover from negative emotions can differ by up to 3,000 percent, depending on our brain activity. The left and right sides of our brains also process negative and positive feedback differently. People with stronger right-brain activity take longer to recover from negative feedback.
However, our brains are wired to detect threats, which makes us feel bad emotions more strongly than we feel good ones. This can make it difficult to accept negative feedback, but understanding our brain wiring can help us accept ourselves and improve our ability to handle feedback.
It's important to remember that genes are just one part of the story. Our emotions, life experiences, and decisions also play a role in how we handle feedback. By understanding ourselves better, we can learn to take feedback more constructively and use it to improve our performance.
Embracing a Growth Mindset for Effective Feedback Handling
When someone criticizes us, it can feel like a personal attack on our identity. But, in reality, our attitude towards feedback makes all the difference. Adopting a growth mindset and believing in our ability to learn and improve can help us handle feedback effectively.
Our mindset can be fixed or growth-oriented. Fixed mindsets believe that our qualities and abilities are fixed traits that we can't change. In contrast, a growth mindset believes that our abilities and intelligence can be developed over time through effort and perseverance.
Studies have shown that people with a growth mindset cope better with failure and negative feedback. They embrace the challenge as an opportunity to learn and grow rather than feeling discouraged and defeated.
By shifting from a fixed to a growth mindset, we can become more open to feedback and use it as a way to improve ourselves. Feedback is no longer a threat to our identity, but rather an opportunity to develop our skills and abilities.
It's essential to remember that we can't change everything about ourselves. Our genes play a role in determining certain aspects of our personality and abilities. However, focusing on areas where we can improve, like intelligence, creativity, compassion, and confidence, can help us grow and develop.
Book Details
- Print length: 348 pages
- Genre: Nonfiction, Business, Leadership
Thanks for the Feedback Chapters
Chapter 1 :Three Triggers: That Block Feedback
Chapter 2:Separate Appreciation, Coaching, and Evaluation
Chapter 3:First Understand: Shift from "That's Wrong" to "Tell Me More"
Chapter 4:See Your Blind Spots: Discover How You Come Across
Chapter 5:Don't Switchtrack: Disentangle What from Who
Chapter 6:Identify the Relationship System: Take Three Steps Back
Chapter 7:Learn How Wiring and Temperament Affect Your Story
Chapter 8:Dismantle Distortions: See Feedback at "Actual Size"
Chapter 9:Cultivate a Growth Identity: Sort Toward Coaching
Chapter 10:How Good Do I Have To Be?: Draw Boundaries When Enough Is Enough
Chapter 11:Navigate the Conversation
Chapter 12:Get Going: Five Ways to Take Action
Chapter 13:Pull Together: Feedback in Organizations
What is a good quote from Thanks for the Feedback?
Top Quote: “Explicit disagreement is better than implicit misunderstanding.” (Meaning) - Thanks for the Feedback Quotes, Douglas Stone, Sheila Heen
What do critics say?
Here's what one of the prominent reviewers had to say about the book: "Imagine an organization where everyone is actually good at receiving feedback. Collective anxiety would be reduced. People would learn and grow. Impossible you say? Thanks to this insanely original and powerful book, maybe not." — Judy Rosenblum, Former Chief Learning Officer of Coca-Cola, and Founder of Duke Corporate Education
* The editor of this summary review made every effort to maintain information accuracy, including any published quotes, chapters, or takeaways. If you want to enhance your personal growth, I recommend checking out my list of favorite personal growth books. These books have played a significant role in my life, and each one includes a summary and takeaways to help you apply the concepts.
Chief Editor
Tal Gur is an author, founder, and impact-driven entrepreneur at heart. After trading his daily grind for a life of his own daring design, he spent a decade pursuing 100 major life goals around the globe. His journey and most recent book, The Art of Fully Living, has led him to found Elevate Society.
