The Road Back to You: Summary Review

This is a summary review of The Road Back to You containing key details about The Road Back to You.

What is The Road Back to You About?

"The Road Back to You: An Enneagram Journey to Self-Discovery" is a book by Ian Morgan Cron and Suzanne Stabile that explores the Enneagram system of personality types.

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In The Road Back to You, the authors forge a unique approach--a practical, comprehensive way of accessing Enneagram wisdom and exploring its connections with Christian spirituality for a deeper knowledge of ourselves, compassion for others, and love for God. Witty and filled with stories, this book allows you to peek inside each of the nine Enneagram types, keeping you turning the pages long after you have read the chapter about your own number. Not only will you learn more about yourself, but you will also start to see the world through other people's eyes, understanding how and why people think, feel, and act the way they do.

Summary Points & Takeaways from The Road Back to You

Some key summary points and takeaways from the book include:

* Understanding the Enneagram: The authors provide an in-depth explanation of the Enneagram system of personality types, including the nine different types and the core motivations and fears that drive each type.

* The role of self-awareness: The authors argue that self-awareness is the key to personal growth and that the Enneagram provides a roadmap for understanding one's own motivations and fears.

* The importance of relationships: The authors emphasize the role of relationships in personal growth and argue that the Enneagram can be a valuable tool for improving relationships by helping individuals understand their own motivations and those of others.

* The connection between spirituality and the Enneagram: The authors argue that the Enneagram is rooted in spiritual truth and that using the system to gain self-awareness can lead to greater spiritual growth and understanding.

* The journey of self-discovery: The authors encourage readers to embark on a journey of self-discovery using the Enneagram system, and provide practical tools and exercises to help individuals better understand their own personalities and motivations.

* The book provides a comprehensive introduction to the Enneagram system and will be of interest to anyone looking to gain a deeper understanding of their own personality and motivations.

Who is the author of The Road Back to You?

Ian Morgan Cron is a renowned teacher of the Enneagram, the bestselling author of The Road Back to You and The Story of You , an Episcopal priest, and a trained psychotherapist.

Suzanne Stabile is a highly sought after speaker and teacher, known for her engaging laugh, personal vulnerability and creative approach to Enneagram instruction.

The Road Back to You Summary Notes

Summary Note: The Road Back to You: Understanding the Enneagram for Self-Knowledge

The Enneagram is a nine-point diagram that has its roots in ancient Christian theology, but is also found in other spiritual traditions such as Judaism, Sufism, and Taoism. In the 1970s, Bolivian philosopher Oscar Ichazo brought these traditions together to form the modern Enneagram structure. It was later imported to America by psychologist Claudio Naranjo, who taught it to his students in California, including Father Robert Ochs who brought it to his congregation and fellow clergy through his Catholic Jesuit teachings.

The Enneagram is a tool for self-knowledge, with nine personality types represented by the nine points on the diagram. Each personality type is linked to a number, which can tell us more about how we see the world, including how we feel and behave. Additionally, each personality type has connections to other numbers on the diagram, known as wing numbers, which can further influence the type. The goal of the Enneagram is to help individuals reflect upon their characteristic flaws, and move towards personal enlightenment.

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Understanding the Enneagram can also improve our relationships with others. By empathizing with their personality type and outlook on life, we can communicate more effectively and have better conversations. The Enneagram provides insights into our behavior in different situations, especially stressful ones, and helps us understand why we may react in certain ways.

In the next book summary, we will delve into the first six personality types of the Enneagram, providing a deeper understanding of this powerful tool for self-awareness and personal growth.

Summary Note: Understanding the Gut and Heart Triads of the Enneagram

The Enneagram is a popular personality typing system that categorizes individuals into nine different types, each with its unique characteristics and behaviors. One key aspect of the Enneagram is the concept of triads, which group the nine types into three categories: the Gut Triad, the Heart Triad, and the Head Triad. In this discussion, we will focus on the Gut and Heart Triads and explore how these triads shape the personalities of individuals within them.

The Gut Triad consists of three personality types: Type Eight, the Challenger; Type Nine, the Peacemaker; and Type One, the Perfectionist. What links these types together is their common struggle with anger. Type Eights are known for their assertiveness and tendency to speak up when they witness injustice, often displaying anger through verbal or physical confrontation. Type Nines, on the other hand, avoid conflict at all costs and tend to suppress their own needs and frustrations to maintain peace, resulting in unresolved anger that is often buried deep within. Type Ones, also known as Perfectionists, are self-disciplined and detail-oriented individuals who strive for perfection in themselves and the world around them. When others fall short of their moral standards, Type Ones can become angry and resentful.

On the other hand, the Heart Triad is characterized by emotions and feelings, and it includes Type Two, the Helper; Type Three, the Performer; and Type Four, the Romantic. Type Twos are caring and nurturing individuals who seek validation through helping others, often neglecting their own needs and emotions in the process. They can develop a sense of entitlement, feeling that others owe them in return for their care. Type Threes, or Performers, are goal-oriented and success-driven individuals who derive their self-worth from their achievements. They can struggle with self-deception and have difficulty acknowledging their own mistakes or emotions. Type Fours, known as Romantics, are highly sensitive and creative individuals who appreciate the beauty and tragedy of life. However, their tendency to isolate themselves from others can lead to self-absorption and melancholy.

Understanding the Gut and Heart Triads of the Enneagram can provide valuable insights into how individuals with different personality types relate to and interact with the world around them. It highlights the common struggles and weaknesses that individuals within each triad may face, such as anger and conflict avoidance in the Gut Triad, and emotional neglect and self-deception in the Heart Triad. By recognizing these patterns, individuals can gain a better understanding of themselves and others, and potentially work towards personal growth and self-awareness. The Enneagram can serve as a valuable tool for developing empathy, improving relationships, and enhancing self-development.

Summary Note: Understanding the Enneagram: Triads and Fear as a Motivator

The Enneagram is a powerful tool for understanding personality types and behaviors, and it categorizes these types into three distinct triads: Gut, Heart, and Head. Each triad is characterized by a common motivation or emotion that drives the personality types within it.

The Gut Triad, consisting of types Eight, Nine, and One, is motivated by anger. Eights, also known as Challengers, are assertive and forceful, often taking charge and speaking up against wrongdoing. Nines, or Peacemakers, avoid conflict at all costs and strive for harmony. Ones, or Perfectionists, are self-disciplined and detail-oriented, with a strong sense of right and wrong. However, their anger may be internalized as resentment.

On the other hand, the Heart Triad, comprising types Two, Three, and Four, is driven by feelings and emotions. Twos, or Helpers, are caring and self-sacrificing, often putting others' needs before their own. Threes, or Performers, set ambitious goals and seek validation through achievement. Fours, or Romantics, have a deep appreciation for beauty and tragedy, but may struggle with self-isolation and self-absorption.

The final triad is the Head Triad, consisting of types Five, Six, and Seven, which is motivated by fear. Fives, or Investigators, are knowledgeable and independent but may struggle with a fear of dependence on others. Sixes, or Loyalists, seek security and stability, but their worries can turn into extreme paranoia. Sevens, or Enthusiasts, are fun-loving and adventurous but may struggle with commitment and addictive tendencies.

Understanding the Enneagram and its triads can provide insights into our motivations, behaviors, and weaknesses. It helps us recognize patterns and tendencies that may impact our relationships and interactions with others. However, the Enneagram also allows for a nuanced approach, as individuals may exhibit traits from different types or have wing numbers that influence their personality. It serves as a valuable tool for self-awareness and personal growth, helping us navigate our inner landscape and find our road back to our authentic selves.

Summary Note: There is always a dynamic relationship between each numbered personality type and two wing numbers.

The Enneagram, a personality typing system, offers insight into the different types of individuals and their motivations. One key aspect of the Enneagram is the concept of wing numbers, which are the numbers that stand on either side of an individual's Enneagram number and act to strengthen their personality type with some of their own characteristics.

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For example, let's take a closer look at type Four, also known as the Romantic, who tends to be creative and thrive on storytelling and melodrama. A type Four with a Three wing is called a "4w3." Threes, also known as Performers, are competitive and goal-driven individuals. When combined with the Romantic's creativity, a 4w3 may feel the need to be the best at what they do and seek recognition while still maintaining some level of social acceptability.

On the other hand, a type Four with a Five wing, known as a "4w5," tends to be more reserved and introverted. Fives, also known as Investigators, are known for their analytical and introspective nature. When combined with the Romantic's uniqueness, a 4w5 may embrace their eccentricity and take pride in their individuality without the same need for recognition as a 4w3. They may also prefer to deal with their emotions on their own and value alone time for reflection.

Understanding wing numbers allows individuals to further refine their self-awareness and gain a deeper understanding of how different characteristics may manifest in their personality type. It highlights the dynamic relationship between each Enneagram number and the influence of adjacent wing numbers, providing a nuanced approach to self-discovery.

However, the Enneagram goes even deeper, as stress and other factors can further shape an individual's personality type. Exploring these nuances can provide valuable insights into one's behavior, motivations, and reactions in different situations. By delving into the intricacies of the Enneagram, individuals can gain a deeper understanding of themselves and others, fostering personal growth and self-awareness.

Summary Note: Understanding Your Security and Stress Numbers on the Enneagram

In the Enneagram system, each personality type is associated with a particular number that represents their core characteristics. However, these numbers are not isolated, but rather interconnected with other numbers on the Enneagram. One main idea is that each number on the Enneagram also takes on the characteristics of their security and stress numbers.

Your security number is the number that corresponds to the type that you borrow positive traits from when you feel safe and secure. For example, a Perfectionist (Type One) may borrow positive traits from the Enthusiast (Type Seven) when they feel relaxed and carefree. This may make them more gregarious, self-confident, and adventurous.

On the other hand, your stress number is the number that corresponds to the type whose traits you may adopt when you are under stress. For example, the same Perfectionist (Type One) may adopt negative traits from the Romantic (Type Four) when they are feeling stressed, such as falling into depression, becoming sensitive to criticism, and feeling inadequate compared to others.

Understanding your security and stress numbers can be incredibly useful in evaluating your behavior and responses to different situations. By being aware of how your numbers influence your behavior, you can identify when you may be spiraling into unhealthy patterns and make conscious decisions to break those patterns.

To put it simply, your security number represents how you may act when you feel secure, like payday, while your stress number represents how you may react when you are feeling stressed, like checking your bank account and finding it depleted.

Being aware of your security and stress numbers on the Enneagram can help you develop greater self-awareness and make more conscious choices in your actions and reactions. It can also provide insights into why you may behave in certain ways in different situations and help you break unhealthy patterns of behavior. The more you understand how your numbers interact with each other, the more equipped you are to navigate life with greater self-awareness and make positive changes.

Summary Note: The Road Back to You: Understanding the Deadly Sins of Each Enneagram Type

The Enneagram, a popular personality system, identifies nine different types, each with its own characteristics and behaviors. According to the Enneagram, each type has a corresponding deadly sin, which represents the negative motivation that drives their behaviors. Recognizing and understanding these deadly sins can help individuals gain insight into their own behaviors and motivations, and ultimately lead to personal growth and healthier relationships.

The Enneagram types and their corresponding deadly sins are as follows:

1. The Perfectionist - Deadly Sin: Anger: Perfectionists hold themselves and others to high standards, and when these standards are not met, they often react with anger or resentment.

2. The Helper - Deadly Sin: Pride: Helpers often believe they know what's best for others, which can manifest as pride and a tendency to be overly involved in others' lives.

3. The Performer - Deadly Sin: Deceit: Performers often project an image they want others to see, which can lead to self-deception and deception of others.

4. The Romantic - Deadly Sin: Envy: Romantics may struggle with feelings of envy towards others who seem to fit in better or find happiness more easily.

5. The Investigator - Deadly Sin: Avarice: Investigators tend to be self-sufficient and hoard their resources, which can be driven by a fear of not having enough.

6. The Loyalist - Deadly Sin: Fear: Loyalists seek safety and security and may be driven by fear in their decision-making and behaviors.

7. The Enthusiast - Deadly Sin: Gluttony: Enthusiasts may overindulge in pleasure and distractions to avoid facing negativity, leading to damaging addictions.

8. The Challenger - Deadly Sin: Lust: Challengers may desire power and control over others, which can manifest as lust for power and dominance.

9. The Peacemaker - Deadly Sin: Sloth: Peacemakers may avoid confronting their own issues and become complacent or slothful in dealing with their own problems.

Understanding these deadly sins can help individuals recognize their own shadowy behaviors and motivations, and take steps to keep them in check. It's important to remember that everyone has their own negative tendencies, and recognizing and acknowledging them is the first step towards personal growth. Compassion towards oneself and others is the foundation of healthy relationships. By understanding the Enneagram types and their corresponding deadly sins, individuals can gain insights into their own behaviors, motivations, and areas for growth, and work towards becoming their best selves.

Book details

  • Print length: 238 pages
  • Genre: Nonfiction, Self Help, Psychology

What are the chapters in The Road Back to You?

Chapter 1 A curious theory of unknown origin
Chapter 2 Finding your type
Chapter 3 Type eight: the challenger
Chapter 4 Type nine: the peacemaker
Chapter 5 Type one: the perfectionist
Chapter 6 Type two: the helper
Chapter 7 Type three: the performer
Chapter 8 Type four: the romantic
Chapter 9 Type five: the investigator
Chapter 10 Type six: the loyalist
Chapter 11 Type seven: the enthusiast
Chapter 12 So now what? The beginning of love

What is a good quote from The Road Back to You?

Top Quote: “The beginning of love is the will to let those we love be perfectly themselves, the resolution not to twist them to fit our own image. If in loving them we do not love what they are, but only their potential likeness to ourselves, then we do not love them: we only love the reflection of ourselves we find in them.” (Meaning) - The Road Back to You Quotes, Ian Morgan Cron & Suzanne Stabile

What do critics say?

Here's what one of the prominent reviewers had to say about the book: "A true understanding of your Enneagram type will tell you more about your financial strengths and foibles than you can imagine. . . . I find The Road Back to You to be the most readable and applicable book I've read yet on the subject." — Tim Maurer

* The editor of this summary review made every effort to maintain information accuracy, including any published quotes, chapters, or takeaways. If you're interested in furthering your personal development, I invite you to check out my list of favorite personal development books page. On this page, you'll find a curated list of books that have personally impacted my life, each with a summary and key lessons.

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Chief Editor

Tal Gur is an author, founder, and impact-driven entrepreneur at heart. After trading his daily grind for a life of his own daring design, he spent a decade pursuing 100 major life goals around the globe. His journey and most recent book, The Art of Fully Living, has led him to found Elevate Society.

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