The cause of every frustration, every impatience, every anger is resistance… When romanticizing on what ‘should’ happen instead of what IS
Have you ever found yourself caught up in a whirlwind of frustration, impatience, or even anger? Maybe it's when things don't go as planned, or when people don't behave the way we expect them to. We've all been there. But have you ever stopped to think about why these emotions take hold of us so strongly? It all boils down to one simple yet profound concept: resistance.
Resistance is that inner force that rises up within us when reality doesn't align with our expectations. It's the voice in our heads that whispers, "This shouldn't be happening," or "It's not fair." It's the tug-of-war between what we want and what actually is. And let me tell you, it's a sneaky little thing. It creeps into our thoughts without us even realizing it, coloring our perception of the world around us.
Think of resistance like a stubborn child throwing a tantrum. No matter how much you try to reason with it or ignore it, it just keeps screaming louder and louder. In the same way, resistance amplifies our negative emotions, making them feel overwhelming and all-consuming. It blinds us to the beauty and potential that lies in every situation, no matter how challenging or unexpected it may be.
Now, here's where things get interesting. The root of all this frustration, impatience, and anger isn't the situation itself—it's our resistance to it. Let that sink in for a moment. It's not the traffic jam that's making you late for work or the rainy weather that's ruining your weekend plans. It's your resistance to these things that's causing you so much grief.
Imagine you're standing in front of a closed door. On the other side lies everything you've ever wanted: success, happiness, fulfillment. But instead of trying the handle and walking through, you're pushing against the door with all your might, convinced that it should open on its own. That's resistance in action. It keeps us stuck in place, unable to move forward, because we're too busy fighting against what is.
So, what's the solution? It's simple, yet profoundly transformative: acceptance. Instead of wasting our energy railing against reality, we can choose to embrace it with open arms. We can acknowledge that life doesn't always unfold according to our plans, and that's okay. In fact, it's more than okay—it's liberating.
Acceptance doesn't mean resignation or defeat. It's not about giving up or settling for less than we deserve. Rather, it's about shifting our perspective and reclaiming our power. When we stop resisting what is and start embracing it, we tap into a wellspring of inner strength and resilience. We become like a mighty oak tree, bending with the winds of change instead of breaking against them.
Picture yourself floating down a river, surrendering to its gentle currents. Each twist and turn may take you by surprise, but you trust in the flow of the water to carry you safely to your destination. That's the essence of acceptance—letting go of control and surrendering to the natural rhythm of life.
So, the next time you feel frustration, impatience, or anger bubbling up inside you, take a step back and ask yourself: Am I resisting what is? And if the answer is yes, try shifting your perspective. Instead of focusing on what should be, embrace what is with an open heart and an open mind. Who knows? You might just find that the very thing you've been resisting is the key to your greatest happiness and fulfillment.
Actionable question: In what area of your life can you practice acceptance instead of resistance today?
* If you're looking for more inspiration to help you on your personal development journey, you may want to check out my extensive list of SMART goals. This page is packed with thousands of different goal ideas that can help you set new aspirations and reach higher heights in your life. Personally, this page helped me to create my own 100 life goals list, which I pursued for over a decade.
Chief Editor
Tal Gur is an author, founder, and impact-driven entrepreneur at heart. After trading his daily grind for a life of his own daring design, he spent a decade pursuing 100 major life goals around the globe. His journey and most recent book, The Art of Fully Living, has led him to found Elevate Society.
