Complaining is a great way to stay stuck and get more of what you’re complaining about.
Imagine you're walking through a dense forest, the trees so close together that sunlight barely breaks through the canopy. Suddenly, you find yourself stuck in a thick, muddy swamp. Every move you make seems to pull you deeper into the muck. Now, you have two choices: You can either lament your situation, focusing on the mud, the inconvenience, and how it's everyone else's fault but yours, or you can start looking for a solid branch or a path to pull yourself out.
Complaining about being stuck in the mud is like setting up camp in that swamp. The more you complain, the more you reinforce your position in the mire, making it your permanent residence rather than a temporary setback. It doesn't change your situation; it only deepens your connection to the discomfort and frustration.
Let's take Sarah, for example. Sarah was a talented graphic designer who felt undervalued and overlooked at her job. She spent months, even years, voicing her frustrations to anyone who would listen. However, her situation never changed, because all her energy was focused on the problem, not on potential solutions. It was only when Sarah shifted her focus to updating her portfolio, networking, and applying for new positions that her circumstances began to change. By exploring solutions and taking action, she eventually landed a dream job that recognized her worth and creativity.
This story highlights a powerful lesson: focusing on solutions, rather than dwelling on problems, propels you forward. It's about shifting your mindset from one of victimhood, where things happen to you, to one of empowerment, where you have the agency to change your circumstances.
To start moving away from complaining, begin by acknowledging your feelings — it's okay to feel frustrated or upset. Then, ask yourself, "What can I do about it?" Even the smallest step toward a solution can shift your perspective and open up possibilities that were obscured by your focus on the problem.
Remember, every moment spent complaining is a moment lost for creating the life you want. It's like watering the weeds in your garden and expecting the flowers to grow. By directing your energy towards solutions, you cultivate a mindset that not only enhances your personal growth but also leads to more productive and positive outcomes.
So, here's something to consider: What's one situation you've been complaining about, and what's one step you can take right now towards a solution?
* If you’re seeking extra motivation and inspiration on your journey of personal growth, I recommend taking a look at my SMART growth goals page, This page offers thousands of goal ideas that can assist in the establishment of new aspirations and the attainment of greater heights in one's life. In fact, it was instrumental in my creation of a list of 100 goals, which I pursued for a decade.
Chief Editor
Tal Gur is an author, founder, and impact-driven entrepreneur at heart. After trading his daily grind for a life of his own daring design, he spent a decade pursuing 100 major life goals around the globe. His journey and most recent book, The Art of Fully Living, has led him to found Elevate Society.
