To connect with others you first want to connect with yourself. Skip this and you’re at the risk of seeking validation – not connection
Imagine you’re standing in front of a mirror, not to admire your reflection, but to have a real, heart-to-heart conversation with the person staring back at you. It sounds a bit out there, doesn’t it? But this simple act is the first step to genuinely connecting with the world around you. The quote “To connect with others you first want to connect with yourself. Skip this and you’re at the risk of seeking validation – not connection” serves as a gentle yet powerful reminder of the importance of self-awareness in building meaningful relationships.
Let’s break it down with a story, something relatable and straightforward. Picture two friends, Alex and Jordan. Alex spends a lot of time scrolling through social media, constantly comparing themselves to others, their successes, their holidays, even their daily routines. Every time Alex posts something, there’s this nagging hunger for likes and comments, a validation that they matter. It’s a never-ending cycle of comparison and validation seeking, leaving Alex feeling empty and disconnected, not just from others, but from themselves.
On the flip side, Jordan also uses social media but in a different way. Before Jordan shares anything, they take a moment to reflect on why they want to share it. Is it to boast, seek approval, or simply to share a moment that genuinely made them happy? Jordan has spent time getting to know themselves, their values, what makes them tick. They understand their worth isn’t measured by likes or comments. This self-connection allows Jordan to form deeper, more meaningful connections with others, based not on validation but on genuine interest and shared values.
The story of Alex and Jordan illustrates the essence of the quote. It’s like being in a crowded room yet feeling alone because you’re not at peace with yourself. You can’t genuinely connect with others if you’re disconnected from who you are. It’s like trying to build a house on sand; without a solid foundation, it’s bound to collapse.
The lesson here is simple yet profound: the journey to meaningful connections with others begins with a journey within. It’s about understanding your emotions, embracing your vulnerabilities, and recognizing your values and beliefs. It’s about looking in the mirror and knowing the person staring back at you.
So, here’s a thought to ponder: When was the last time you had a real conversation with yourself? Not just a passing thought, but a deep, introspective dialogue about who you are, what you love, and what you dream about. It’s in these moments of self-reflection that we find the keys to genuine connections with others.
As you go about your day, remember, the path to connecting with others is paved with the bricks of self-awareness and self-love. Start with the person in the mirror, and watch how the world opens up in ways you never imagined.
And now, an actionable question for you: What’s one thing you can do today to connect with yourself on a deeper level?
* If you’re seeking extra motivation and inspiration on your journey of personal growth, I recommend taking a look at my SMART growth goals page, This page offers thousands of goal ideas that can assist in the establishment of new aspirations and the attainment of greater heights in one’s life. In fact, it was instrumental in my creation of a list of 100 goals, which I pursued for a decade.
Chief Editor
Tal Eyal Gur is an impact-driven creator at heart. After trading his daily grind for a life of his own design, he spent a decade pursuing 100 life goals around the globe. Tal's journey and recent book, The Art of Fully Living, inspired him to found Elevate Society.
