Changing ourselves starts with accepting, not fighting, who we are

Imagine standing in front of a mirror, fists clenched, ready to battle the person staring back at you. This person has flaws, makes mistakes, and isn't perfect. But here's a secret: that battle? It's unwinnable. Why? Because fighting who we are is like trying to calm a storm by shouting at the clouds. It doesn't work.

Let's break it down with a simple analogy. Picture a gardener wanting to transform a barren plot into a blooming garden. If the gardener keeps cursing the soil for being too rocky or too dry, blaming it for not already being a garden, no seed will ever sprout. However, if the gardener accepts the soil as it is, works with it, nurtures it, and makes the best of its natural qualities, that's when flowers begin to bloom. Our inner selves are much like that soil. Acceptance is the first step toward growth.

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Now, think about a time when you've struggled to change something about yourself. Maybe you wanted to be more outgoing, less anxious, or more disciplined. Did fighting these aspects of your character, criticizing yourself for every setback, ever lead to genuine, lasting change? Or did it feel like you were stuck in a loop, battling the same demons over and over?

The beauty of acceptance lies in its power to free us from this loop. When we accept who we are, flaws and all, we're not giving up; we're gearing up. We're shifting our focus from what's wrong to what can be made right. Just like the gardener who sees potential in the soil, accepting ourselves allows us to see our own potential. It's from this place of acceptance that real, transformative change can begin.

Consider Thomas Edison and his journey to invent the light bulb. He didn't berate himself each time a prototype failed. Instead, he accepted each failure as part of the process, learned from it, and moved forward. Over a thousand attempts later, his persistence illuminated the world. Imagine if he had fought against his initial failures instead of accepting them as steps on the path to success. The lesson here? Acceptance is the fertile ground from which the seeds of change sprout.

So, as you stand in front of your metaphorical mirror, lower your fists. Look into your own eyes and accept the person you see. This doesn't mean you don't strive to grow or change; it means you do so from a place of understanding and love, not criticism and war.

Now, think about an aspect of yourself you've been fighting to change. How can you approach it with acceptance instead? How might this shift in perspective pave the way for the change you wish to see?

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Chief Editor

Tal Gur is an author, founder, and impact-driven entrepreneur at heart. After trading his daily grind for a life of his own daring design, he spent a decade pursuing 100 major life goals around the globe. His journey and most recent book, The Art of Fully Living, has led him to found Elevate Society.

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