Unravel your needs and you’ll understand your motivations.
Imagine you're standing in front of a maze, confused and overwhelmed. You know you want to get out, but every twist and turn feels like a dead end. This maze represents your life—your desires, decisions, and the complicated web of what drives you day after day. Now, what if I told you the key to escaping isn’t about running faster or trying harder, but about stepping back and understanding the map—the “why” behind the maze itself?
Think about it for a moment. Most of us spend our days chasing after things. We want more success, better relationships, financial security, a sense of purpose, or simply to be happy. But rarely do we stop to ask ourselves *why* we want these things. What is it, deep down, that we truly need? Because when you begin to unravel that, the maze starts to make sense. And only then can you navigate it with confidence.
Take a moment to think about something you really want right now. Maybe it's a promotion at work, or to be more connected with someone in your life. Now, ask yourself this: What do you actually *need* from this? Is it recognition, love, stability, security, or maybe just a sense of accomplishment? It's like peeling an onion—layer by layer, you discover more about yourself. When you understand your true need, you begin to understand the motivations that are pushing you towards it.
Let’s dig deeper with a simple analogy. Picture an iceberg floating in the ocean. On the surface, the iceberg seems massive, but what’s beneath the waterline is even bigger, hidden from view. What we see on the surface are our desires—the things we think we want. But beneath the surface lies something far more important: our needs. These are the core drivers of our actions, the fuel for our motivations. And like the iceberg, if we only focus on what’s visible, we miss the greater picture of what truly moves us.
For example, you might feel motivated to work overtime every week. On the surface, it seems like you’re simply driven to succeed, to achieve more. But why? Is it because you crave validation from your boss? Or do you feel that financial success will make you more secure or worthy in society? The desire to work harder might not just be about ambition—it could be a deep need for approval, security, or identity. Once you unravel that need, your motivations become crystal clear.
The beauty of understanding your needs is that it transforms how you approach life. Instead of being driven by vague feelings or undefined desires, you start to move with intention. You can make choices based on what genuinely matters to you, rather than chasing things that only seem important on the surface.
Think about the person who seems obsessed with finding a partner, going from one relationship to the next. On the outside, it looks like they’re just looking for love. But underneath, what might they really need? Maybe it’s not love in the romantic sense. Maybe it’s security, or the need to be understood, or even just to escape loneliness. If they could pinpoint that core need, they’d stop the endless chase and focus on fulfilling that deeper desire. Suddenly, the maze of their love life would start to make more sense.
This doesn’t just apply to relationships or careers—it touches every area of our lives. When we’re restless, bored, or frustrated, it’s often because we’re not in tune with our real needs. We feel like we’re spinning our wheels, but it’s because we’re acting based on shallow desires, not understanding what lies beneath. If we took the time to understand what we actually need, we’d find more meaningful ways to fulfill those needs—and the restlessness would fade away.
It’s like trying to quench your thirst with soda when what you really need is water. The soda may taste good for a moment, but it never really satisfies. The same goes for our desires—if we don’t address the deeper need, we’ll keep chasing things that never truly satisfy us.
So, how do you begin to unravel your needs? Start by looking at the things you’re pursuing right now. Ask yourself, “Why do I want this? What do I hope it will give me?” Then dig deeper. Ask yourself, “What am I really seeking here?” It may take some time, and you might have to face some uncomfortable truths, but as you start to uncover those needs, you’ll gain a clearer sense of why you do the things you do.
And here’s the magic: when you understand your motivations, you can start living with purpose. No more chasing after fleeting desires or feeling lost in the maze of life. Instead, you’ll move with clarity, knowing exactly what you need and why.
In essence, the journey of unraveling your needs is the journey of self-awareness. It’s about being honest with yourself and understanding what truly drives you, not just on the surface, but deep down. And once you have that clarity, your actions will align with your true self, leading to a more fulfilled, intentional life.
To sum it up: When you take the time to unravel what you need, you unlock the deeper understanding of what drives you. Your motivations stop being a mystery, and you gain control over the direction of your life.
Now, here’s something to ponder: What’s one desire you’ve been chasing lately, and if you really stopped to think about it, what is the deeper need behind it?
Chief Editor
Tal Gur is an author, founder, and impact-driven entrepreneur at heart. After trading his daily grind for a life of his own daring design, he spent a decade pursuing 100 major life goals around the globe. His journey and most recent book, The Art of Fully Living, has led him to found Elevate Society.
