What is The Four Agreements About?
The Four Agreements is a self-help book. It advocates freedom from self-limiting beliefs that rob us of joy and creates needless suffering. The book offers a robust code of conduct that can rapidly transform our lives into a new experience of freedom, happiness, and love.
According to the author, everything a person does is based on 'agreements' they have made with themselves, with others, with God, and with life itself. In these agreements, people may tell themselves who they are, how to behave, what is possible, and what is impossible.
The book states that these self-limiting agreements are what create needless suffering. The author also believes that to find personal joy, one must get rid of society-imposed and fear-based agreements that may subconsciously influence the behavior and mindset of the individual.
The author identifies sources of unhappiness in life and proposes four beneficial agreements that one can make with oneself to improve one's overall state of well-being. By making a pact with his suggested four key agreements, an individual is able to dramatically impact the amount of happiness they feel in their lives, regardless of external circumstances. (The Four Agreements Summary).
The Four Agreements Quotes
1. [Favorite Quote]: "Whatever life takes away from you, let it go."
2. “If someone is not treating you with love and respect, it is a gift if they walk away from you."
3. “Every human is an artist. The dream of your life is to make beautiful art.”
4. "You don't need to trust others as much as you need to trust yourself to make the right choices.”
5. "Go inside and listen to your body, because your body will never lie to you. Your mind will play tricks, but the way you feel in your heart, in your guts, is the truth.”
6. “Whatever happens around you, don't take it personally... Nothing other people do is because of you."
7. “There is a huge amount of freedom that comes to you when you take nothing personally.”
8. "We make all sorts of assumptions because we don't have the courage to ask questions.”
9. “Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourslef or to gossip about others. Use your power of your word in the direction of truth and love.”
10. “I will no longer allow anyone to manipulate my mind and control my life in the name of love.”
11. "Why do I need to deny that I love you? It is not important if you love me back. I may die tomorrow or you may die tomorrow. What makes me happy now is to let you know how much I love you.”
12. "The best way to say, "I love you, God," is to live your life doing your best. The best way to say, "Thank you, God," is by letting go of the past and living in the present moment, right here and now. "
13. “In your whole life nobody has ever abused you more than you have abused yourself. And the limit of your self-abuse is exactly the limit that you will tolerate from someone else"
14. "Not enjoying what is happening right now is living in the past and being only half alive."
15. "Death is not the biggest fear we have; our biggest fear is taking the risk to be alive — the risk to be alive and express what we really are. "
16. "We have learned to live by other people’s points of view because of the fear of not being accepted and of not being good enough for someone else.”
17. “Ninety-five percent of the beliefs we have stored in our minds are nothing but lies, and we suffer because we believe all these lies.”
18. “Wherever you go you will find people lying to you, and as your awareness grows, you will notice that you also lie to yourself. Do not expect people to tell you the truth because they also lie to themselves."
19. "It is not what I am saying that is hurting you; it is that you have wounds that I touch by what I have said. You are hurting yourself. "
20. “It is when we lose control that we repress the emotions, not when we are in control.”
21. “Imagine living your life without judging others. You can easily forgive others and let go of any judgments that you have. You don’t have the need to be right, and you don’t need to make anyone else wrong."
22. “True justice is paying only once for each mistake"
23. “Taking things personally makes you easy prey for these predators, the black magicians. They can hook you easily with one little opinion and feed you whatever poison they want, and because you take it personally, you eat it up. "
24. “Whenever we hear an opinion and believe it, we make an agreement, and it becomes part of our belief system.”
25. “Humans punish themselves endlessly for not being what they believe they should be. They become very self-abusive, and they use other people to abuse themselves as well.”
26. “The big diffrence between a warrior and a victim is that the victim represses and the warrior refrains.”
27. “If others say one thing, but do another, you are lying to yourself if you don’t listen to their actions."
28. “In any kind of relationship we can make the assumption that others know what we think, and we don’t have to say what we want."
29. “Gossiping has become the main form of communication in human society. It has become the way we feel close to each other, because it makes us feel better to see someone else feel as badly as we do.”
30. "We have the need to justify everything, to explain and understand everything, in order to feel safe."
31. "we have agreed that if people love us, they should know what we want or how we feel. "
32. "When we believe something, we assume we are right about it to the point that we will destroy relationships in order to defend our position.”
33. "Humans are mentally sick with a disease called fear. The symptoms of the disease are all the emotions that make humans suffer: anger, hate, sadness, envy, and betrayal."
34. “Humans are storytellers. It is our nature to make up stories, to interpret everything we perceive. Without awareness, we give our personal power to the story and the story writes itself. With awareness, we recover the control of our story."
35. “We must forgive those we feel have wronged us, not because they deserve to be forgiven but because we love ourselves so much we don't want to keep paying for the injustice..."
36. "when someone can touch a wound and it no longer hurts you then you know you have truly forgiven.”
37. “The fear of being rejected becomes the fear of not being good enough. Eventually we become someone that we are not."
38. "If you love me the way I am, “Okay, take me.” If you don’t love me the way I am, “Okay, bye-bye. Find someone else.” It may sound harsh, but this kind of communication means the personal agreements we make with others are clear and impeccable.”
39. “You can measure the impeccability of your word by your level of self-love. How much you love yourself and how you feel about yourself are directly proportionate to the quality and integrity of your word."
40. "What blinds us are all those false beliefs we have in our mind. We have the need to be right and to make others wrong. We trust what we believe, and our beliefs set us up for suffering.”
41. "if you get mad at me, I know you are dealing with yourself. I am the excuse for you to get mad.”
42. “If others feel they have to change you, that means they really don't love you just the way you are. So why be with someone if you're not the way he or she wants you to be?”
43. “Very young children are not afraid to express what they feel. They are so loving that if they perceive love, they melt into love. They are not afraid to love at all. That is the description of a normal human being.”
44. “The freedom we are looking for is the freedom to be ourselves, to express ourselves."
45. “Real love is accepting other people the way they are without trying to change them"
46. “Wherever I go, whomever I meet, I see myself in their eyes, because I am a part of everything, because I love.”
― Quotes from the book The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz
Who is the Author of The Four Agreements?
Miguel Ángel Ruiz Macías, better known as Don Miguel Ruiz, is a Mexican author of Toltec spiritualist and neoshamanistic texts. His work is best-received among members of the New Thought movement that focuses on ancient teachings as a means to achieve spiritual enlightenment.
Tal Gur is an impact-driven entrepreneur, author, and investor. After trading his daily grind for a life of his own daring design, he spent a decade pursuing 100 major life goals around the globe. His journey and most recent book, The Art of Fully Living - 1 Man, 10 Years, 100 Life Goals Around the World, has led him to found Elevate Society.